Just Another Day in Paradise.

OK, maybe not paradise, but darn close.

In case you didn’t notice it, I was being facetious! I’m back in the thralls of my drug-induced lethargy. And not the good drugs, the anti-cancer kind of haze.

Got home last night and my legs had swollen from all the standing. I looked like the Elephant Man. Thankfully(?), I was up all night getting rid of the water. (You figure it out.) But that meant that I was quite tired, so I ended up dozing quite a bit of the day. And when I was up, I didn’t exhibit much energy.

I did get a chance to look at a few sites where I can post wedding pictures. I’ll look into it more tomorrow, if I can round up the concentration.

Along about 4AM I was awake and thinking about Rawley, wondering what he would have made of the day’s goings on. Wondering what advice he would have given the newlyweds. I came up with a few comments of my own, but I decided to spare them.

Instead, I watched Crocodile Dundee this evening. Although it made for a lot of our jokes and one-liners, I don’t recall ever having seen the movie with Rawley. I first saw it in Madison; I was up from Illinois for a class or two at the UW Mad Campus. Evening comes and what does one do with oneself in the party town? CD was in the theater, I’d heard good things about it from Rawley, and so I stopped by to see it.

So, sometimes when I’m depressed and missing him, I pull out my copy of the first movie and watch it.

Besides, I goofed up tonight. What little I ate, I started eating way too late. I have to wait a while before I go to bed or risk having not-so-happy returns. So, I watched the movie and then thought I’d update this—notice that it’s gone from a morning event to an evening event?—while waiting for my meal to digest.

I even added a few wedding photos to my screensaver collection while waiting.

But, it’s getting close to my (updated) bedtime. I can take my pain meds a little earlier, I think.

I just reread this and I find that it’s not very eventful tonight. More like a placeholder; “Yup, still here!” Sorry! Maybe I’ll have more energy tomorrow.

A Beautiful Wedding!

I really need to get out more and do some work with my camera. I'll be trying to analyse what I did wrong over the next couple of days, but I did get a couple of good shots of Tim and Shelly's wedding.

Here's picture that I took when most of the family came to visit me when Amy was here that I'd like to share. Don't they look like a happy couple?

And then I'd like to post one shot of the happy couple from the wedding. There are so many pictures from today that I'd like to share, for a variety of reasons, but today is theirs!

Congratulations, Tim and Shelly! And thanks for inviting me to share your special day. I finally got my free dinner!

OMG, the Wedding is at 2:00PM...

...and I have it in my PDA as being at 6:00!! Am I out of synch, or what? So I guess I will be tired tonight!

I don't even have their gift wrapped, yet. It looks like another trip to Wal-Mart.

Anyway, 198 again this morning, it has got to be water! Although I'm up and about, you won't hear much from me today!

But the melatonin is helping me sleep! I'm hoping the rest of the supplements will be helping my quality of life soon.

Keep some of those happy thoughts handy today for Tim and Shelly as they enter a new phase in their lives and as we wish them all the best!

“No Pain, No Gain”

That’s what Dr. Bergman had said, and he’s right. Unfortunately I’m the one “in pain.” Now, it’s not really pain per se; more like discomfort.

I get the hiccups, a SFX (side effect(s) ) of the meds. It can be distracting. Along with the hiccups, I also have trouble swallowing, or at least initiating swallowing. Will I start a hiccup when I swallow? It has happened, usually when trying to take my meds. Very disconcerting.

And my desire to eat has gone away. I’ve had some ice cream, part of a Filet-o-Fish sandwich, a can of chicken noodle soup, a little bit of a Seroogy’s candy bar (it was for a charity!!), and I think that’s about it. I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up some chewable BeneFiber tablets ‘cause I’m not eating anything I can mix the powder into.

I tried to eat donuts and found that I couldn't stand them. But I had a Jones for something like that. Then I realized that it was a Jones for turnovers. I've tried Wal-Mart's (yuck), Woodman's (not too bad), and Hardee's (gag). I've been sharing these with Ben.

So I decided to go with something that I know that I used to like, Dino Shell turnovers!! So, while I was out, I stopped by and picked up a couple. Ben even tells me they hear on a police scanner that the cops like 'em too. Can you believe that I brought them home and haven't even tried 'em. That's how much I don't feel like eating . I'll still share, though. Ben, there's one on the counter for you. Leave the other one for me tomorrow, maybe. I'll force myself.

This is why I was 194 pounds this AM vs. 197 pounds yesterday. I’m not a big fan of the ups and downs of my weight due to the edema, the diuretics, and the lack of appetite.

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While at the store, I happened to look into one of those 10X magnifying mirrors. I was surprised to see that the hair on my face that I can feel actually shows up. So I have a really, really, really, skimpy beard. I could “shave” with a tweezers. Normally, back when I had a beard, I would shave my throat in the shower rather than go through the extra effort of getting all lathered up at the sink.

Now, it looks like I’ll be taking Ronny’s advice. I, too, have a shaving mug with the bar of soap and a badger-haired brush. I’ll get all lathered up like they did in the old days and shave that way. Now, I do have a straight razor with a leather belt as a strop. Nah, I think I’ll just use my Gillette for right now. My hands get a little shaky under chemo. Amy has had a chance to watch that happen!

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Anybody know what the drug Protonix, a proton-pump inhibitor, does? It shuts off the acid supply to the stomach. Acid, which is necessary to ionize the magnesium oxide into a form more easily absorbed by the stomach. Apparently as we age, we make less hydrochloric acid, which means we absorb less of the magnesium we do get as we get older, leading to the magnesium deficiency related diseases. Why don’t doctors know this and prescribe accordingly, since it affects sleep, moods, and energy levels? All things I’m in need of.

I guess the lady in one of Lois’ links was right; you have to become an armchair expert on your own illness. Thanks Lois!

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I’m sorry I’m so late with this post. I’ve been out most of the day after Ben went to work getting some things done. I still don’t know when or where Tim & Shelly’s wedding will be, but I WILL find out.

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BTW, I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was so easy to get approvals to use my supplements. As I explained to my HR rep at work, it went something like this:

“It is interesting that when I was “just a truck driver” I couldn't take my supplements without argument. When I explained yesterday, however, that I have been a lab tech in both a Vitamin and Mineral Lab, and a Main Analytical Chemistry Lab for food-related products; I set up a analytical chemistry lab for a local manufacturer as a Quality Control Manager; I have been a Quality Assurance Manager for a Contract Medical Device Manufacturer having to deal with the FDA regularly; along with being a QA/QC Manager in a few other industries; all of a sudden, they find out that I might know something about what I’m talking about. The arguments dropped almost to nothing.”

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Well, I’m trying to stay up late tonight, so I sleep late tomorrow, so I don’t crash early tomorrow night. I’d like to enjoy the wedding. I can’t do that if I’m falling asleep.

I’m taking my camera. Maybe I can talk them into allowing me to post a pic or two.

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Right now, I’m going to finish my Ionic Magnesium, plug in a movie, and try to clear my mind.

Speaking of movies, Robin, I ordered a 3-movie copy of Drew Barrymore’s Never Been Kissed/Fever Pitch/Ever After. I’ll get it in a week or so.

And Amy, I bought Shrek 1 & 2 for further study!

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I know that I’m sounding a bit ungrateful in this post. But it goes with the territory, I guess. I learned a few things from the nurse about the mood changes that goes along with the chemo. So, I don’t want you to think that I’m ungrateful after hearing the good news I heard yesterday. And I’m definitely NOT ungrateful for all your support, spoken and unspoken, expressed and unexpressed. Thank you!

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Another note. I don’t know if you noticed but Blogspot had added a feature so that you can check a box on the page of any comment you make and get notification of any replies to your comment in your email box. How cool is that? I get that feature as an author. Now you can get it as a commenter! Use it wisely! :-D

Later!

“Dramatic Improvement”

And I suppose I have you to blame, I mean to bless, for those words I heard today. As with any undertaking, it’s the support team, the cheerleading squad, which always seems to be overlooked. I think that’s unfair. I may have done the suffering, but you guys have done the supporting, which may be even harder than suffering, and I thank you for it.

The feeling I got from the PET scan technician has proven correct. The three lymph nodes that had contained cancer cells appear to be clear, no sign of cancer activity. The tumor in the stomach has been reduced by 1/2 to 1/3 the original size, which was pretty big to begin with.

I’m hoping to get copies of the scans. When I do, I’ll post them on the blog.

Doctor Patel stated that their expectations, their hopes, after the second course of chemotherapy is to simply have held the cancer at bay, to have kept it from growing any more. To find that the cancer has been substantially reduced after Round 2 is a “dramatic improvement!”

It seemed significant to me that my Nurse For The Day, Nurse Diane, seemed to know which two words I meant when I mentioned hearing two good words from the doctor. One of the other nurses that heard about the results from me has already used the “R” word: remission. There's hope, yet!

That still means that I have to suffer through Round 3 of chemotherapy. But with any luck, and the support of my cheerleading squad, there may not be a need for Round 4. I have no knowledge of what will happen after Round 3, though. I think that we’re playing it by ear, here.

But, to help me get through Round 3, I have obtained an agreement from Dr. Patel allowing me to use my vitamins and minerals. I will also be able to use some of my other supplements like the turmeric and curcumin for joint pain, melatonin to get to sleep, etc. I will have to run other supplements by him for approval. I’m hoping that I will be able to use the Enzymatic Therapy IP-6 for several reasons. The strength I have isn't the "cancer" strength, but it will help with joint and other issues. But the Vitamin D and the magnesium will certainly help my “quality of life.”

So, things are looking good!

My thanks to all of you for helping to keep my spirits up. I have a certain core strength in my “stubbornness,” but it always helps to have support from “lots of people who love you,” as one of my email correspondents has put it.

So give yourself a big pat on the back, have a drink if you do (I was told by a nurse that I could have an “occasional” drink), and help me celebrate this victory!

Then There Are Days…

…that make you wonder.

I posted last night at 9:05. I took a picture of my lower leg to show the edema (ain’t it cute?), took my shower, shaved my injection port to accommodate the tape later today, turned on my random noise generator, and finally climbed into bed sometime around 9:45.

Now, I can have trouble falling asleep. That’s why I usually use melatonin to help me fall asleep when I really need to. It’s a chemical already produced by the body (there’s those chemicals again) so it’s just as if my body kicked up its production a little. It’s one of the supplements that will be under discussion later today with my oncologist.

So there I was, trying to sleep and I could hear activity--read that noise--in the house. Usually I can identify it and promptly ignore it. Not tonight; it didn’t fit any pattern I'm used to. So I get up, grab the pistol and the flash (this should go without saying even when I wasn’t in the ‘female, aged, or infirmed’ group), and start my rounds.

Nothing outside, nothing inside. WTF! Back to bed.

Just get settled, start drifting off, and there’s more sound. Lay there a while and try to identify the sound; can’t. Get up again, grab my “stuff,” and made the rounds again. Nothing.

Ben doesn’t usually get home much before midnight. But I was back up again several times before then trying to find out what was making the noise. So there I am, standing at the back door, at 10:56, listening for the noise to repeat itself. I hear a car door slam, expect to see the backyard light come on (motion detector), and to have Ben come through the door. Won’t that be a surprise for him? LOL Wasn't him, but now I'm wondering who's close enough that I can hear their car door slam.

While I’m standing there, I finally hear some noise behind me! I check the closet in the entryway. Nothing! The only thing behind that is the bathroom and the door was open and nothing was visible in there when I went by. The operant word there was “visible.”

I went back to the bathroom to “checka out,” as Rawley used to say. Nothing. I do have cupboards under the sink; they haven’t been opened in a while. However, if a cat could get in there, it surely could get out unless maybe Himmy got hung up on something. Nothing in there, though. I do have a closet in the bathroom, and I had been in there earlier, but I specifically checked before closing the door because Mousebane had been underfoot earlier.

But I check again anyway.

Guess who comes walking out of the closet, tail held in the air, asking me WTF took me so long? Mousebane!

The bathroom is next door to my bedroom. Any of his attempts to get out could easily be heard over the noise of my sound machine. When I’m up, he’s listening for ME so HE isn’t making any noise. LOL

I’m not mad. That would be like being mad at the fires in SoCal. They’re both “forces of Nature.” I just need to "checka out" better next time. I have to get used to having SNEAKY cats around. He must have walked in as I closed the door with my attention elsewhere because there’s nothing but a toilet plunger on the floor to hide behind.

I went back to bed. I decided that, since I would just get to sleep when the alarm would go off for my midnight meds, I’d take them now and turn off the alarms. I heard Ben come home about 11:20 or so, and finally drifted off to sleep. But 6:00AM came awful early. It’s a good thing I can snooze during chemo. But I may be too worked up from my visit with my oncologist to be able to do so.

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I mentioned a picture of my lower leg. I thought I’d post one after only one day on my dexamethasone. It’ll get worse. Then I’ll be back on the Lasix to get rid of the water and the potassium, so I’ll be back on the horse pill to replace the potassium. BTW, thanks for the concern about crushing the tablet just to get it down, but it is just potassium chloride. No hu hu!

What is somewhat funny to my twisted sense of humor is that EVERYTHING below the waist swells up. Do I have an answer to some of those spam emails or what? I don’t need ‘em.

Back to the leg, you can see where my shoe fit and where my sock ended. The rest is just blown up! And that was while I was just sitting at the computer.

I just had a thought; did you hear the bell go off? I think I might have to take my daughter’s idea and sit on my big exercise ball at the desk. See if that helps my back.

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Reading the comments this morning, I was reminded of our (Ben and I) “escape from Florida” this spring. We encountered wildfires near Lake City, and had to drive west in the panhandle until we hit Alabama and then we could head North. So I thought I’d just add a picture of that trip. This was May 12. We didn't use face masks or anything, although a lot of the locals were, but I did get a bit of a headache from breathing the smoke that got into the car. So, I can sympathize with Tayler's plight, and wish her well. One day was an adventure. After that, it stops being fun.

I just found this satellite photo on line of the SoCal wildfires and thought I'd post it here. Our best wishes to Tayler.

It’s Kinda Funny…

…I used the same phrase about ‘keeping fingers crossed’ in an email about 7:30 this evening long before I read Amy’s post. I haven’t used that phrase in years, and now I find that I’m repeating my daughter in advance of reading her blog. “Curiouser and curiouser…”

Between doing other things, I’ve been trying to catch up on my emails. I’m down to 35 items in my inbox. Not all of them are emails to be replied to. Most are articles that I want to read. Por ejemplo (For example), you might wonder why I use Wikipedia for a lot of my definitions. A Daily Article from the Ludwig von Mises Institute, Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?, might explain my interest.

What is the Mises Institute?

“The Ludwig von Mises Institute is the research and educational center of classical liberalism, libertarian political theory, and the Austrian School of economics….

“It is the mission of the Mises Institute to restore a high place for theory in economics and the social sciences, encourage a revival of critical historical research, and draw attention to neglected traditions in Western philosophy. In this cause, the Mises Institute works to advance the Austrian School of economics and the Misesian tradition, and, in application, defends the market economy, private property, sound money, and peaceful international relations, while opposing government intervention as economically and socially destructive.”

I learn a lot from these folks about the things I believe in.

And I have other sources that I read as well, like The Advocates for Self-Government, the Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership, and even a daily source for quotes relating to liberty. Like this one by John Adams:

"The Revolution was effected before the War commenced. The Revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people; a change in their religious sentiments of their duties and obligations ...

“This radical change in the principles, opinions, sentiments, and affections of the people, was the real American Revolution."

Amy & Ben: remind me to set up a list of links to Sites of Interest on this blog.

The articles I’ll have to think about I leave in my inbox until I get a chance to deal with it. I do the same with the emails to which I need to respond. So they never go away until I deal with them.

Unfortunately, I have the habit of dealing with them in reverse chronological order; I deal with the most recent first. So, if I get overwhelmed, I don’t get to my early emails as fast as I’d like. Sorry!

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I carpeted the platform today. Mousebane has been up there several times, since. He uses the ramp to strop his claws.

I will put the railing on sometime Thursday or Friday.

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I finished the electrical installations in the “office” and am set up to hook up the rest of my toys. First though, I need to clear away some of the overburden, the piles of paperwork including finding the directions to Tim’s & Shelly’s wedding. So you know that I’ll at least find that much.

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I was out today to file for my disability benefits from my credit union. The ‘relationship manager’ and I had an interesting talk. It seems that he, too, has rescued his pet dog, a bulldog. There's more of them than you know!

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Food. It’s amazing what we put up with.

I did run out to Wendy’s on Velp. I know, you’re probably saying, “What Wendy’s on Velp?” I checked Google Maps and found one there. Unfortunately, my physical reconnaissance didn’t find it. So I ran down to the one on Oneida.

The B&G left something to be desired. The sausage, egg, and cheese Frescata biscuit left something to be desired, as well. I may have to run out to Hardee’s tomorrow before chemo and try their B&G again. If I don’t care for it, I’ll have to look for my recipes.

I mentioned to Ben that, after having my taste buds messed with, I have problems with eating food that really doesn’t taste all that great. Some of the things I used to eat I can only assume that I ate from habit. I’m eating for taste, now.

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Well, it’s off to bed. I want to take a shower first. But, we’ve been experiencing some drain blockage since Ben came. I realize that I have lost some hair, but most of my hair was less than ½” in length. And it’s longer hair that I’ve been pulling out of the drain. Must be Amy’s from when she was here! :-P

I may get a chance to post tomorrow AM, but if not, I’ll post the news from my meeting with the doctor tomorrow evening.

Keep your fingers crossed….

Checking in

Hello all,

I am sorry I haven't posted/commented in awhile. I've been pretty busy, but I know that's no excuse. I truly hope no one takes it personally when I fail to respond to someone's comments or questions. I've kinda been assuming that this is "Dad's" blog, so I've been solely focusing on him and his "issues" ;-), but according to Dad, this is "our" blog, too, so I'll try to do better. Again, I hope no one takes offense. I know this is a difficult subject/situation for everyone, and we all deal with it in our own way.

You know, its kinda sad (but also not at all surprising) that a situation like a loved-one's cancer may serve to bring family members separated by distance closer together... but I've enjoyed reading comments and hearing from folks I haven't chatted with in awhile (Lorie and Cuz, to name a couple ;-)!), and kind-of meeting people I never really knew before (Nettie, Ronnie). If anyone reading this would like my individual email, who doesn't already have it, please feel free to ask Dad for it. I won't post it here since anyone can read this.... I TRY to respond to emails in a timely manner. I don't know my opinion on Dad's comments about the chemicals possibly running in our family making connections difficult or whatever, but I do know that while I sometimes am TERRIBLE at returning phone calls and emails, it does not mean I do not FEEL connected to my family, and it does not mean I appreciate their well-wishes any less. So thanks to all who have stood by my Dad and Ben and I during this difficult time.

OK, sappy moment aside.... Dad - Good Luck at the doctor's office tomorrow! I know you're starting the third round of chemo, which sucks, but hopefully we'll hear good news about the PET scan!!! Keeping my fingers crossed!

Love,

Amy

Just Another Manic Monday

I started out today trying to answer some emails. For some reason I couldn’t seem to concentrate. It couldn’t have anything to do with staying up until almost 2:00AM talking with Ben.

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The “office” is rearranged. I still have a little electrical work to do to get it set up. And I still have to hook up some of my electronic toys, stuff that hasn’t been used in a while, like my scanner. I have a big box of photos I want to scan to hard disk.

Then comes the hard part, going through all the paperwork I’ve collected over the years; sorting, filing, and hopefully throwing some away.

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I got the ramp carpeted. I didn’t have time to do the platform. That’ll happen tomorrow. I had to run out to get longer staples.

I got Mousebane to climb the ramp after a couple of treats. He made it down the ramp as well. It looked like he slipped a little but otherwise he made it just fine.

Himmy, on the other hand, wasn’t quite so gullible. He ended up standing along side of the ramp and stretching up to get to the treat. He wanted nothing to do with clawing his way up the ramp. We’ll have to see.

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Picked up my Dexamethasone today. Tomorrow I start taking it: the day before, the day of, and the day after chemo. I’m already 190 with some edema. I’m not looking forward to swelling up any more.

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I found out that Wendy’s now serves breakfast. And they have biscuits and gravy!

I remember heading North on Saturday mornings and stopping at the Highway Restaurant in Abrams for their biscuits and gravy. They did a mean gravy back then. I don’t know how it is now. But I love good biscuits and gravy.

Some years ago, I had to ask my sister Cuz, who was living in Tennessee at the time, how to make a good Southern gravy. I ended up having to learn how to make gravy all by myself. I found there are several tricks to it.

I’m half-tempted to run out tomorrow morning for breakfast at Wendy’s.

But, I’m off to bed now, before I walk like an Egyptian.

OK, I Survived….

….the weekend. Just as a reminder, I did say that I might be off line this weekend in my last post. OK, my next to last post.

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I’ve been working on cleaning and organizing my “office.” I’ve rearranged the room so that I can put a single-sized airbed down in it if I need to this holiday season for company.

I’ve been working on the cat platform. I’ve gotten the dowels cut to length for the railing, now. Tomorrow I’m hoping to get the carpet laid. I may even get the railing put up. The issue will be drilling the holes correctly AFTER the carpet has been put in place. Otherwise, I’ve got to cut through the carpet to find the holes. I plan to drill them on an angle so as to not take up too much room on the platform itself. Should be interesting.

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I haven’t been feeling well since my visit to the hospital for my PET scan. Why is it one seems to GET SICK in the hospital? My nose has been dripping for several days now so I guess I’m not dehydrated!

But the cats seem to be sick, as well, and they haven’t been to the hospital. Mousebane has been drooling, and occasionally tossing his cookies, if he ever ate cookies. I think Himmy has tossed his once or twice, as well.

So, being tired from not feeling well, I’ve been moving slower than normal. And it doesn’t help that my joint pain has increased. Even my fingers are hurting now from the inflammation. Even the incisions for my port were inflamed. RED!!! I almost stopped in to the VLCC on Friday to have someone look at them. I don’t want them getting infected. But it’s from the inside, not the outside, that they’re being affected. Inflammation in the joints, inflammation in the recent incisions. I am a little concerned that they still show red. They should have been healed by now.

So, when I go in Wednesday for my next round of chemo, I’m going to ask to be allowed the use of CAM anti-inflammatory products and other supplements that will help me feel better.

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I was surprised when I actually slept 12 hours last night. That’s the first time I’ve done that in a long, long time. Since I usually try to get a post put together in the morning, that didn’t happen today.

Ben and I then ran over to his place and got the rest of his things and brought them back here. The biggest item was Grandpa John’s desk, but we managed quite well, thank you.

Next, we spent some time putting things together. And, if you know me, you’ll know that I “fixed” a few items that may not have necessarily needed it now, but would have needed it eventually.

We moved my big 5-drawer filing cabinet to the basement and although I would have let him use it, Ben purchased it for his own use. It was an old one that weighed more than twice what Grandpa John’s desk weighed, but was more compact so it was easier to move.

But I had a good time working with Ben.

We were taking a break on my bench in the back of the house, talking and admiring the fall colors. I just had to go in, get my camera, and take a few pictures of the leaves turning colors to send to my daughter in Florida who doesn’t get to see the turning of the seasons very often anymore.

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Rereading my post, I am reminded of las mujeres (the women) at the Sweatshop, one of my company's accounts that I drove for. The women were impressed that I never walked up the stairs at work; I RAN up the stairs, two or three at a time. Now these are the industrial-type stairs, a floor-and-a-half tall.

Now I can barely walk up the stairs. I guess I’m glad that I didn’t “take up” with any of the ladies, now. They’d certainly be disappointed that I can’t “run up the stairs,” anymore.

Well, I’ve written another 1,000 words tonight that I don’t think I’ll post at this time. I saw the second shift lead person (a gringo) from the Sweatshop at Wal Mart yesterday who completely ignored me when I tried to say “Hi.” Twice.

Now I realize that I look somewhat different now. No hair, no beard and 50 pounds lighter. But I used his name; I knew him. And he knew I knew him. If nothing else, he should have recognized my KYFHO hat!

But it disturbed me that he would ignore someone he once worked with. But it does go together with being a “boss” at the Sweatshop. And I have friends who still work with and for that bastard. They have my sympathies.

I’m going to go to bed now before I write another 1,000 words. :-)