I didn’t do a darned thing all day.
Oh, I had a bratwurst and a pot pie (no, not THAT kind!), some cheese and crackers, and even waffles for breakfast. So, I am eating again, just not a whole lot.
I spent most of the day “riding the recliner” watching the first two discs of Season 1 of NCIS again. Third time through, I think.
My neuropathy has calmed down some from yesterday. My feet were really “feeling” yesterday. By that I mean there was a LOT of sensation yesterday; they felt really cold. Today they don’t feel as cold, the sensation is lessened. I can see where, if it gets any worse, I might be in need of pain meds. It doesn’t “hurt” now, but sure is annoying.
I am a little less fatigued today. I can stand up a little longer today than yesterday. But I’m still not ready to run any marathons. And, I will get “breathless” if I’m up for too long, as well. I don’t know what is going on. I also have a slight pain on the right side of my back at about the diaphragm level. My guess is that it’s a side effect of the radiation therapy. They can’t hit just the cancer cells; they hit some of the healthy cells, too. And that may cause some pain.
I pretty much skimmed through Reservation Road. If I hadn’t seen trailers for the movie, I might have given up on the book. I kept hoping that it would get better. It’s been called “dark,” and I wholeheartedly concur. Now, it even makes me wonder if I want to see the movie. Now, I know that I do have some trouble concentrating, but I don’t think that was the problem.
Although it’s about 17 degrees F. the wind is really blowing, here! And tomorrow the highs will be around zero degrees F. Must still be winter in Wisconsin!
I have to run over to the Driver’s License Bureau on Monday to get my handicap permit. I’m looking forward to that, NOT!
So, what else? I think I’m just going to take some advice, and try to get some rest this weekend, and not do anything, and see how that goes.
Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Today Wasn’t Much Fun
There, I admitted it. My butt got kicked today. Royally! And I don’t know why.
Let’s talk muscles; specifically, in my case, voluntary muscles. “Voluntary muscle contraction is used to move the body, and can be finely controlled, like movements of the eye, or gross movements like the quadriceps muscle of the thigh. There are two broad types of voluntary muscle fibers, slow twitch and fast twitch. Slow twitch fibers contract for long periods of time but with little force while fast twitch fibers contract quickly and powerfully but fatigue very rapidly.”
Now thigh muscles are also called skeletal muscles, and are controlled through voluntary muscle contractions. When I get tired, when my butt gets kicked, as I say, the muscles “fatigue very rapidly.” I got tired just standing in the shower this AM. My thigh muscles just start shaking from the exertion of standing. So, I’m assuming that my fast twitch fibers are the ones doing the fatiguing. I just don’t know why.
At the same time, I start to breathe heavy, like I’m running out of oxygen.
Now, the chemo causes peripheral neuropathy; my nerves die in my extremities. That’s why my feet feel like they’re freezing all the time, even when I lying in a hot tub of water with sweat breaking out all over my head. It just feels like my feet are cold. But chemo can also affect the neuromuscular junction, where the nerve attaches to the muscle as well. And that causes me some worry. Assuming that I survive the cancer, I may just end up disabled by the neuropathy.
Now, the VLCC did my blood tests today and it looks like they did everything but what I went in for: to test my rat poison levels. But the results look good. Yes, some of my results are not normal for “normal” folks, but are acceptable levels for someone going through what I’m going through.
I did notice that I bled quite a bit from the antecubital venipuncture just like when I had a high INR.
I am slightly anemic, but the chemo and the IP-6 can account for that. And it’s not enough to make that big of a difference. When I was in the hospital a month ago with similar symptoms, they had me up walking the halls watching my blood oxygen levels. Although I was huffing and puffing, my O2 never went below 98%. So it would seem that something else is going on.
Now, my biology courses are decades behind me in the past. I don’t know what is going on, and if the doctors and nurses can’t figure it out, how can I? Actually, I shouldn’t say that, but more on that at a later date.
~~~~~~~~~
I didn’t get to see my radiation oncologist today, but another doctor standing in for him. And he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, answer my questions. What are you gonna do? They still expect payment whether they answer questions or not.
So, I guess I’ll have to wait until Monday to see if the chemo doctor I see then will have any answers.
~~~~~~~~~
I have a mystery on my hands. Someone dropped off a book, Reservation Road, a plate from the Oneida Casino, and some dried peanuts. Left ‘em in between the doors in the back.
Now, I’m not one to eat foods that I don’t know where they came from. And the book still had the price sticker on, but there was no clue where it was purchased, although I will read that. I’ve heard good things about the movie—I like Mr. Ruffalo and Ms. Connelly—and wanted to see the movie. So I’ll read the book first.
But it still presents a mystery that needs solving, although I suspect I know who dropped the stuff off.
~~~~~~~~~
And I didn’t get to my taxes today. My brain just isn’t functioning THAT good. I’d hate to tell you how long it took me just to type all this up. Let’s just say that I’m not at my best today and let it go at that.
Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
Let’s talk muscles; specifically, in my case, voluntary muscles. “Voluntary muscle contraction is used to move the body, and can be finely controlled, like movements of the eye, or gross movements like the quadriceps muscle of the thigh. There are two broad types of voluntary muscle fibers, slow twitch and fast twitch. Slow twitch fibers contract for long periods of time but with little force while fast twitch fibers contract quickly and powerfully but fatigue very rapidly.”
Now thigh muscles are also called skeletal muscles, and are controlled through voluntary muscle contractions. When I get tired, when my butt gets kicked, as I say, the muscles “fatigue very rapidly.” I got tired just standing in the shower this AM. My thigh muscles just start shaking from the exertion of standing. So, I’m assuming that my fast twitch fibers are the ones doing the fatiguing. I just don’t know why.
At the same time, I start to breathe heavy, like I’m running out of oxygen.
Now, the chemo causes peripheral neuropathy; my nerves die in my extremities. That’s why my feet feel like they’re freezing all the time, even when I lying in a hot tub of water with sweat breaking out all over my head. It just feels like my feet are cold. But chemo can also affect the neuromuscular junction, where the nerve attaches to the muscle as well. And that causes me some worry. Assuming that I survive the cancer, I may just end up disabled by the neuropathy.
Now, the VLCC did my blood tests today and it looks like they did everything but what I went in for: to test my rat poison levels. But the results look good. Yes, some of my results are not normal for “normal” folks, but are acceptable levels for someone going through what I’m going through.
I did notice that I bled quite a bit from the antecubital venipuncture just like when I had a high INR.
I am slightly anemic, but the chemo and the IP-6 can account for that. And it’s not enough to make that big of a difference. When I was in the hospital a month ago with similar symptoms, they had me up walking the halls watching my blood oxygen levels. Although I was huffing and puffing, my O2 never went below 98%. So it would seem that something else is going on.
Now, my biology courses are decades behind me in the past. I don’t know what is going on, and if the doctors and nurses can’t figure it out, how can I? Actually, I shouldn’t say that, but more on that at a later date.
~~~~~~~~~
I didn’t get to see my radiation oncologist today, but another doctor standing in for him. And he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, answer my questions. What are you gonna do? They still expect payment whether they answer questions or not.
So, I guess I’ll have to wait until Monday to see if the chemo doctor I see then will have any answers.
~~~~~~~~~
I have a mystery on my hands. Someone dropped off a book, Reservation Road, a plate from the Oneida Casino, and some dried peanuts. Left ‘em in between the doors in the back.
Now, I’m not one to eat foods that I don’t know where they came from. And the book still had the price sticker on, but there was no clue where it was purchased, although I will read that. I’ve heard good things about the movie—I like Mr. Ruffalo and Ms. Connelly—and wanted to see the movie. So I’ll read the book first.
But it still presents a mystery that needs solving, although I suspect I know who dropped the stuff off.
~~~~~~~~~
And I didn’t get to my taxes today. My brain just isn’t functioning THAT good. I’d hate to tell you how long it took me just to type all this up. Let’s just say that I’m not at my best today and let it go at that.
Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
Thursday, February 7, 2008
One Of Those Days
I’m sure that you’ve all had one of those days, right? Not really “sick” sick, just not feeling real well. If you had your "druthers," you’d rather not go in to work. And when you get there, you just feel like you can‘t think. Yet they expect you to DO SOMETHING.
That’s about how I felt today.
So what did I decide to do "just to do something?" My taxes. Except for a couple of years where I needed help, I’ve always done my own taxes. This year was no exception. But having to try and understand all that double talk was just too much. My head hurts, but I got it done.
Oh, don’t worry. I’ll go back over everything tomorrow to double check myself. But I’m amazed at how much I didn’t make this year. Try taking four months off sometime and see how that affects your bottom line.
I watched some Selena music videos before running off to radiation therapy today. It was the first time I had the DVD player fired up in a while.
Speaking of Lisa Layne, I even checked on Lisa Layne videos on YouTube to try and decompress from all that government gobbledygook. Nice looking girl! And what a voice!! But check out Vince Vance’s hairdo! Hey, it made him famous! Whatever works!
So I decided that I’m gonna watch a movie tonight. I decided on Road House with Patrick Swayze and Kelly Lynch. I haven’t seen it for a while and the music will really, really, help.
Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
That’s about how I felt today.
So what did I decide to do "just to do something?" My taxes. Except for a couple of years where I needed help, I’ve always done my own taxes. This year was no exception. But having to try and understand all that double talk was just too much. My head hurts, but I got it done.
Oh, don’t worry. I’ll go back over everything tomorrow to double check myself. But I’m amazed at how much I didn’t make this year. Try taking four months off sometime and see how that affects your bottom line.
I watched some Selena music videos before running off to radiation therapy today. It was the first time I had the DVD player fired up in a while.
Speaking of Lisa Layne, I even checked on Lisa Layne videos on YouTube to try and decompress from all that government gobbledygook. Nice looking girl! And what a voice!! But check out Vince Vance’s hairdo! Hey, it made him famous! Whatever works!
So I decided that I’m gonna watch a movie tonight. I decided on Road House with Patrick Swayze and Kelly Lynch. I haven’t seen it for a while and the music will really, really, help.
Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Starting Week 4 of Radiation
I actually woke up hungry this morning. However, being out of practice when it comes to eating, I just drank an Ensure.
I’ve stopped the pain meds again. It no longer makes sense to take them. The stomach doesn’t react with the same level of pain it did a while ago. It is interesting to note that I didn’t sleep as well without the pain meds. It is strange that I do get my hiccups with belches included, and I can have some pain when I yawn. Have to talk to the doc on Friday.
I see where Heath Ledger was taking much the same meds as I have been, except for the anti-depression meds. I haven’t had those yet. Although he didn’t OD on any one drug, the combinations did him in. That’s why I try to stay away from as much as I can.
It’s been interesting to watch the Site Meter traffic lately. I got a hit from Georgia looking for some info I haven’t posted yet. I had to stop and think about whether or not I had. But it is a post I’m working on. And I got a hit from a computer where no information was available at all, looking for info on INRs and radiation. Curious.
My fatigue level has improved somewhat. My legs were not as week as they have been, but my arms are still pretty weak. “There’s a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on!” I mentioned to RT Paula that I had finally ordered a temporary handicap permit, and she said that was good because my fatigue level would get worse with 3 weeks of radiation to go.
So I did “ride the recliner” for a while today instead of spending all day in bed. There was stuff that I wanted to do, but I had to choose between feeling good and feeling good, if you know what I mean.
As a side note, I had talked to RTs Paula and Amy about Vince Vance and the Valiants and Lisa Layne’s version of All I Want For Christmas Is You. They sounded interested so I burned the song for them to listen to on their stereo. RT Paula loves Lisa Layne!! She took the disc home and listened in the car with the sound turned up. She really likes LL. Asked me if she had other albums out. Apparently she has three of her own out.
Kunolunkwa y te quiero!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
I’ve stopped the pain meds again. It no longer makes sense to take them. The stomach doesn’t react with the same level of pain it did a while ago. It is interesting to note that I didn’t sleep as well without the pain meds. It is strange that I do get my hiccups with belches included, and I can have some pain when I yawn. Have to talk to the doc on Friday.
I see where Heath Ledger was taking much the same meds as I have been, except for the anti-depression meds. I haven’t had those yet. Although he didn’t OD on any one drug, the combinations did him in. That’s why I try to stay away from as much as I can.
It’s been interesting to watch the Site Meter traffic lately. I got a hit from Georgia looking for some info I haven’t posted yet. I had to stop and think about whether or not I had. But it is a post I’m working on. And I got a hit from a computer where no information was available at all, looking for info on INRs and radiation. Curious.
My fatigue level has improved somewhat. My legs were not as week as they have been, but my arms are still pretty weak. “There’s a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on!” I mentioned to RT Paula that I had finally ordered a temporary handicap permit, and she said that was good because my fatigue level would get worse with 3 weeks of radiation to go.
So I did “ride the recliner” for a while today instead of spending all day in bed. There was stuff that I wanted to do, but I had to choose between feeling good and feeling good, if you know what I mean.
As a side note, I had talked to RTs Paula and Amy about Vince Vance and the Valiants and Lisa Layne’s version of All I Want For Christmas Is You. They sounded interested so I burned the song for them to listen to on their stereo. RT Paula loves Lisa Layne!! She took the disc home and listened in the car with the sound turned up. She really likes LL. Asked me if she had other albums out. Apparently she has three of her own out.
Kunolunkwa y te quiero!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I Remember The Day…
…just three short weeks ago when I learned, with surprise, that I was going back on chemotherapy—they got me started that same day! I remember a few days later when was told that I wouldn’t be doing the “old” routine—one day of chemo then three weeks off—but a “new” routine—three weeks of chemo and then a week off. And I remember TODAY when I found out that I wouldn’t even be doing a ‘new’ routine, but a “newer” routine—no time off at all. I’ll be getting one day of chemo every week I’m on radiation. WTF???
I know, this goes contrary to what the Wikipedia articles on my “new” anti-cancer drugs stated, but what does a peer-reviewed dictionary article know?
~~~~~~~~~
Just so you know how I’m feeling, I submitted an application for a temporary handicap permit. Becky had given me an application for permanent handicap permit, so I had to take it back and exchange it. Or maybe she knows something that I don’t?
But with only three weeks of radiation and expectations of it getting worse, I felt I had to do it. Folks take all the close parking spots in the cold snowy weather and that means that I have to walk long distances with my fatigue in the snow! They don't plow very well, at least not to support pedestrian traffic. And the arms get just as tired; I don’t know that I’d be able to hold myself up with a cane or walker.
~~~~~~~~~
I also go the results of my latest INR, I'm back down to 1.4, just a little over the 1.2 max that is considered normal. So, I'm back up to 5 mg of rat poison a day! Edited: added 2/5/08 @8:50PM
~~~~~~~~~
Just had a call from Nancy. While we were talking I said something about being stubborn like Shrek, and she laughed. Then she dared me to put my comment on the blog. So I will!!
I said that I was stubborn like Shrek being “big, green, and farts in mud puddles!” She laughed! And then she dared me! So There!
~~~~~~~~~
I got home from chemo and radiation and was so tired I fell into bed. So I did get a nap this afternoon. And I think that I'm starting to get hungry, finally. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Kunolunkwa y te quiero! BTW, I found out I’m helping a little!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
I know, this goes contrary to what the Wikipedia articles on my “new” anti-cancer drugs stated, but what does a peer-reviewed dictionary article know?
~~~~~~~~~
Just so you know how I’m feeling, I submitted an application for a temporary handicap permit. Becky had given me an application for permanent handicap permit, so I had to take it back and exchange it. Or maybe she knows something that I don’t?
But with only three weeks of radiation and expectations of it getting worse, I felt I had to do it. Folks take all the close parking spots in the cold snowy weather and that means that I have to walk long distances with my fatigue in the snow! They don't plow very well, at least not to support pedestrian traffic. And the arms get just as tired; I don’t know that I’d be able to hold myself up with a cane or walker.
~~~~~~~~~
I also go the results of my latest INR, I'm back down to 1.4, just a little over the 1.2 max that is considered normal. So, I'm back up to 5 mg of rat poison a day! Edited: added 2/5/08 @8:50PM
~~~~~~~~~
Just had a call from Nancy. While we were talking I said something about being stubborn like Shrek, and she laughed. Then she dared me to put my comment on the blog. So I will!!
I said that I was stubborn like Shrek being “big, green, and farts in mud puddles!” She laughed! And then she dared me! So There!
~~~~~~~~~
I got home from chemo and radiation and was so tired I fell into bed. So I did get a nap this afternoon. And I think that I'm starting to get hungry, finally. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
Kunolunkwa y te quiero! BTW, I found out I’m helping a little!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
Monday, February 4, 2008
Monday, February 04, 2008
I slept in until almost 2:00PM yesterday. And I needed the sleep.
Ben and I went to see Cloverfield at the De Pere Cinema Café, since the movie wasn’t playing anywhere else in the Green Bay area. It beat having to drive to Appleton. I liked the movie, but felt I was missing a lot without subtitles. But then again, I guess it wasn’t supposed to have perfect acoustics. Maybe I’m getting too sensitive about my hearing loss.
So, we got back late and I didn’t feel like posting anything.
My normal routine, today; got up, showered, and off to the radiation therapy. Maybe you remembered that I should have had my last of three chemotherapies today. Last week my appointment was moved to Tuesday morning, early. So I’m off to bed real quick here.
I did get some laundry done, today, so I am up and about.
While I'm still able to, I started to put together a personal perspective, i.e. how did I get here? I hope to have something done this week.
Kunolunkwa!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
Ben and I went to see Cloverfield at the De Pere Cinema Café, since the movie wasn’t playing anywhere else in the Green Bay area. It beat having to drive to Appleton. I liked the movie, but felt I was missing a lot without subtitles. But then again, I guess it wasn’t supposed to have perfect acoustics. Maybe I’m getting too sensitive about my hearing loss.
So, we got back late and I didn’t feel like posting anything.
My normal routine, today; got up, showered, and off to the radiation therapy. Maybe you remembered that I should have had my last of three chemotherapies today. Last week my appointment was moved to Tuesday morning, early. So I’m off to bed real quick here.
I did get some laundry done, today, so I am up and about.
While I'm still able to, I started to put together a personal perspective, i.e. how did I get here? I hope to have something done this week.
Kunolunkwa!
"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith
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