Thursday, May 1, 2008

A memorial link.

H. Ben's Danish brother-in-law posted a touching memorial on his blog this morning.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Help me feel the joy through the pain

Hello all,

I want to sincerely thank everyone who has stood by my father, Ben and I through this very difficult time. You are all loved dearly by my father, and for that reason alone you are very important to me. I know one of the hardest things for Dad to handle throughout his illness was his knowledge that it was so hurting the ones who love him, to see him suffer and struggle and hurt. It truly pained him to know that his suffering was hurting us, but I hope that also means that he felt very loved, respected, and valued by so many.

Like Ben, I cannot really imagine my world without him. I am trying to keep thinking of all the good in him, all the good he instilled in me, but right now all I feel is hurt. There is a gaping hole inside of me that I'm sure will never heal. Many wise people have told me it will, but at this moment, it is so hard to believe.

Thank you all so very much for your love and support. No matter what Ben and I have been feeling in this ordeal, we have NEVER felt alone because of all of you who love my father.

Amy Malliett

So it goes.

I post this message from a house filled with grieving people. My father passed at 4:43 this morning. I can see him from where I sit.

I can't conceive of a world without him, and yet, here it is, unbidden and unwanted.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Another Update

Here's another update, in the spirit of keeing everyone informed as much as possible. Dad had more visitors this afternoon. His brother Bill, Bill' s wife Julie, and Dad's mother Marie all visited with Dad. While Dad was in and out of consciousness, he seemed to enjoy the company. Of course, I know it was a difficult shock for Bill, Julie, and Marie to see Dad in this condition because things are progressing much faster than anyone expected.

Of course, Dad has been joking around whenever he was awake, including "petting" Ben's cats with the grabber-claw thing he requested I get him (So that he can pick things up from afar from a laying-down position). He has also been stubborn whenever the opportunity arises. So, he's very much still himself ;-).

He has been VERY drowsy the last two days, and that seems to be getting worse. It is due to both/either 1) the pain medication he is on, and 2) the deterioration of his liver. When the liver stops functioning, it makes one's blood composition wacky, which will affect the functioning of one's brain. Dad's nurses said this may be beginning to happen. A hospice nurse will be here again tomorrow, so we may know more then.

I will briefly go back to Tampa from Tues - Wed, but I plan to turn right around and come back, given the current situation.

We will do our best to continue keeping everyone updated. If anyone wants to email me directly, my email is the same as Dad's, except that it's my name instead of his. So, that would be amy.m @ "our last name here" .com

If anyone would like my phone number, email me and I will provide it that way.

xoxox,

Amy

Home and entertaining.

Dad made it back from the hospital, but he's been very tried and mostly bedridden. He has been reading, and enjoying, the comments on the blog, but has not felt up to posting thus far.

Medically, things are not going well. His abdomen is still distended from fluid build-up discharged by the liver, and he was and still may be bleeding into his stood and urine. He is, however, on a pretty potent mix of drugs, so there shouldn't be much discomfort.

I don't recall off hand if Dad ever established just who the Stevens clan was for his blog audience; in case he didn't, I'll summarize by saying that they have been dear friends of his for many years. Many members of this family have been keeping Dad company this weekend (and for months before that, truth be told), and doing a very good job of it. It's a bit strange for me to wake up to the sound of laughter coming from Dad's room, but I can't imagine a scenario that would be more pleasant for Dad. Considering that my mother and stepfather have been visiting as well, this has made the house more crowded than I've ever seen before!