The Best Laid Schemes Of Mice And Men Gang Aft Agley

But Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

From Robert Burns’ ode, To a Mouse.

You ever remember some of that stuff you learned in government school; sometimes when you least expect it?

I was planning on doing some housework today. I slept in until noon! I got up to take my meds and get some sustenance and spent the day riding the recliner.

I wish my doctors would talk to me about what it is that I should be doing to bring myself up-to-speed, but all they can do apparently is to make me sick. They can’t be bothered to help me get better.

So I spent the day wondering about my low-grade fever, the hot flashes and then the chills, and the dizziness I experienced almost every time I got up. I checked my blood pressure and it was fine for me, but my pulse rate was 105. I know that 60-100 is normal for normal adults but it is still somewhat fast for me.

My assumption is that as I recover from the ritualistic poisoning of my body in hopes of killing my illness I will be experiencing situations that are outside my normal experience.

Like my peripheral neuropathy, my feet are feeling more like normal, i.e. they feel like they were cold for some time and have just started to warm up. They still have the “pain” sensation, just not as bad as before. But my hands have increased the “pain” sensation. The two small fingers of my left hand are feeling numb. When I tried to talk to someone about this before, I fond that it strikes everyone differently, and therefore, the medical community can’t tell me anything that can help.

~~~~~~~~~

I miss not being able to talk to my radiation technicians. I ran across something by Neil Young that I wanted to tell RT Amy, the younger, when I realized that I may not even see her again. We had talked about music, especially CSNY. I was surprised that someone so young would listening to music that I liked.

I had checked my iPod and didn’t find any CSN or Y. And yet I have such vivid memories of listening to Neil Young’s work. And I’m not just talking about his duet with Emmylou Harris. So, checking my Windows Media Player I found that I do have at least one of his albums, I mean CDs, transferred to computer. Now I need to figure out why it hasn’t gotten to my iPod. That means I have to create a library of all my music and where it is stored. More work.

I was going to listen to some Santana the other day and found out that he didn’t even make my computer at all!

I’m losing it. Or so it would seem anyway.

Please remember, this is my diary as well. I put things here to help me remember things at a later date.

Let me leave you with the words of Emmylou Harris:

Soul mate
The blues are deceiving
It keeps us believing
We're on the wrong road
One side is just like the other
Except for the color
And size of the load
And just how much it shows

But you're supposed to be feeling good now
Cause everybody said you would
Honey, does it blow your mind
That the prophets would lie
You're supposed to be in your prime now
Not supposed to be wasting your time
Feeling like you're down and out
Over someone like me

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero

"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith