You Know Who You Are

I’m still 185 pounds. But I’ve been sleeping well, going to bed about 10:00PM, taking my PC at 2:00AM, and getting up for the day about 7:00AM. I’ve cut back on my PC to do it. Oh, I’m getting enough, thank you. I’m just not doubling up unless there is a need.

During the day, when I’m eating, as long as I don’t eat something that will bother the tumor in my stomach, I can get by with one PC every four hours or so. And I feel fine. Overnight, when the stomach is empty, the tumor may get a bit irritated so I will take 2 PC at 2:00AM to ease the pain.

Now that I’m not having to eat all the time or having to take my meds with creamy chocolate milk just to get the horse pills down, I may start up the Carafate again. The doc had said that I could stop, that the window of usefulness may have passed. But if the tumor can still get irritated, that window may still be open. I’ll have to make a call today about it.

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Let’s talk about eating! I had Papa Murphy’s Barbeque Chicken pizza yesterday. I haven’t been to the fridge yet to see if Ben had any last night after coming home from work, but I’m sure there’s still a piece or two in there. It’s not like I remember, but still pretty good.

Of course, there are two kinds of ice cream in the freezer. As I mentioned earlier, one of the oncologists did make mention that Ice Cream could very well become my best friend!

And, I have a craving for cheesecake. Those of you who know me, know about my passion for cheesecake! Ben and I had talked about cheesecake recently; so I bought a cheesecake sampler pack yesterday. Not very good at all. But did I mention that it’s cheesecake?

And did I mention that I’m still 185 pounds.

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“Long-haired, bearded, hippie, dope-fiend freak!”

I’m afraid the time is long past that I will ever hear such words of endearment attributed to me again, although there once was a time. Oh, when I was in high school, I was a proto-typical son of the Midwest. Then came The Awakening in college.

I grew my hair long in college. Although few photos survive from that time period, I do remember when the college wanted to kick all of us long-hairs out! I remember Marilyn, a nice Amish girl that I worked with in the kitchen, pleading with me to not cut my hair. I even went to the ACLU and found that even though The College could kick me out, The ACLU could get me re-instated, guaranteed!

Now, I had nothing invested in my long hair, it was just an experiment to see what it felt like to have and care for long hair. It was more an exercise in individuality than anything else; individuality The College didn’t want me to develop. I wonder why….

I folded; I trimmed my hair to the maximum allowable length, and continued to get in trouble with The College with my developing individuality.

Now, due to chemotherapy, I’m losing all my hair. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to it.

I’ve worn my hair short now for a few years; it’s just plain easier to take care of. And with the big bald spot on top, it looks better than with the ponytail that a friend, Carla, always wanted to cut off.

Most of my beard is loose right now. I figure that it won’t stay in much longer. I guess I’ll wait until it starts to look ratty and then I’ll shave it. The same goes for what hair is left on the top of my head.

I don’t know how this will affect my self-image. I’m waiting to see.

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From today’s Horoscope:

“Today you'll come face to face with someone whose delusions of grandeur will
entertain and amuse you. They have a dramatically different view of reality than
you do, and could serve as a cautionary tale. By living beyond their financial
abilities, they are setting themselves up for a serious fall. Any of your advice
will fall on deaf ears, so don't even try to encourage them to be careful with
their money. Just let them live their life and make their mistakes.”

OK, maybe you won’t know who you are.