Correcting my father ;-):

- They aren't roses, and they're dots SOOO tiny, you have to point them out for them to be visible. They're barely tattoos ;-)!!

- There are tons of folks older than you! I know you may not feel that way right now, which I totally understand, but you're not that old ;-). That's partly why this situation is understandably so hard to deal with.

- To help explain the stats you quoted a bit.... Docs talk in terms of "five year survival rates." They rarely tell people things like "you have ___ years to live," 'cause that was never accurate anyway. So, the surgeon had said that, WITHOUT surgery, there is a 10% chance you'll be alive in 5 years. WITH surgery, there's a 30% chance you'll be alive in 5 years. The next day, your Oncologist clarified those numbers by saying that, because your cancer had metastasized, those rates ARE worse for you. Now, neither one really specified what role the 6 weeks of radiation will play in those numbers.

- Sorry for the brutal honesty, its even hard to write it, but that's what that all means. I admit, even though I KNOW all this stuff intellectually, those stats were the hardest part for me to hear, as a daughter. That, and the fact that the docs insisted on using the word "palliative" instead of "cure" because you are "Stage 4 w/ Metastasis." They will never use the word "cure" for someone Stage 4 or higher, only "remission" if they are completely successful.

- Now, all that being said, the surgeon was the ONLY one who seemed really motivated to get Dad on the table and cut him open. All other docs have said that the surgery is extremely invasive, would not prevent cancer from coming back elsewhere, especially in the lymph nodes where it has already been detected, and would be "life-altering." The purpose of it would be to alleviate symptoms the tumor is causing and to extend Dad's healthy comfortable years. So, the docs, as well as Dad, have expressed the desire to save surgery for an absolute last resort. On a positive note, the surgeon was clear that Dad would NOT be an invalid or incapacitated after the surgery, but his relationship with food and eating would be forever changed. Not too fun.

- So, sorry for being a downer, but having witnessed the Dad-doctor conversations en masse lately, I wanted to catch everyone else up to speed a bit. As hard as it is, its important to be realistic about it all. Now, all that being said, there are no NEW side effects with radiation, so that therapy won't be any WORSE than the chemo so far. Plus, Dad is taking his IP-6 and reports feeling a bit better. There are other "alternative" therapies that may be available. AND, statistics are, by definition, general. There are always those at the extreme ends of the spectrum that defy all odds, anyway ;-).

Sorry I didn't post any of this sooner. It takes a while to process it all. Plus, we were pretty busy when I was up there.

xoxox,

Amy