Let Me Say This About That

If you haven’t read the other post for today, this might not make too much sense. If you have, as you can tell, I haven’t let it go yet.

Back in the early ‘70’s, a guy by the name of Robert J. Ringer wrote a book called Winning Through Intimidation. Now, it isn’t really about intimidating people, but rather how not to be intimidated.

But I read his book a long time ago. My paperback is pretty ratty-looking today. What impressed me the most, what I “took away” from the book was his Three Type Theory as illustrated by a card game. To quote from the book:

What this theory states is that there are only three types of people who exist
in the business world (again, with the one exception being a person who stands
to directly benefit as a result of your earning, and receiving, income), as
follows:

Type Number One:

This type lets you know from
the outset—either through his words or actions, or both—that he’s out to get all
of your chips. He then follows through by attempting to do just
that.

Type Number Two:

This type assures you that he’s
not interested in getting your chips, and he usually infers that he wants to see
you get everything “that’s coming to you.” He then follows through, just
like Type Number One, and attempts to grab all of your chips
anyway.

Type Number Three:

This type also assures you
that he’s not interested in getting any of your chips, but, unlike Type Number
Two, he sincerely means it. That, however, is where the difference ends;
due to any one of a number of reasons—ranging from his own bungling to his
personal standards for rationalizing what’s right and wrong—he, like Types
Number One and Two, still ends up trying to grab your chips.

Later in the book, I wasn’t able to find his quote, Ringer does say that there is a Type Number Four who says that he isn’t after your chips, and really means it, but the number of people like that are so small that they are statistically insignificant.

Having read this so many years ago, I am still amazed how often I forget this advice. But, it forms the basis for the fact that I am loath to accept any charity because it has the nasty habit of turning on you. As Heinlein pointed out, “There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch!” (TANSTAAFL)

Months ago I was assured that an act of largesse on the part of someone was quite valid and that I wouldn’t have to worry—I even commented on it in a post here—only to have that act rescinded today, and now I’m back to having to worry.

I’d like to believe that it was a case of Type Number Three in action. I’d hate to think that it was a case of Type Number Two. But it is still small consolation. And I do take it personally.

But I guess I should be thankful. This frees me from any gratitude that I may have held toward this person and the people they represent.