And that’s about all they can be, random. Oh, I’ll try to put them into some cohesive framework, but don’t expect much more than that.
I started to write about a subject that has been bothering me, but can’t seem to put the effort into making sense out of what I want to say. So this may truly become random.
~~~~~~~~~
Got dressed yesterday, anticipating a trip back to the VLCC—Amy was right; I anticipated this round would go easier. From what I now hear, they get worse—and I needed to deposit a couple of checks. Anyway, I decided to take a little stroll out of doors to the Men’s Mall since I was dressed, I need the exercise. And my cheerleaders suggested it.
Due to oncoming traffic while crossing the street, I tried to break into a run, or at least a jog. And “break” is the appropriate word; I nearly fell flat on my face. Just like when I climbed the stairs at Teo’s place. I’m losing control of my muscles. Does that come under the heading of Peripheral neuropathy? “Gait abnormalities.” I guess it does.
I can see why I might be disabled, even if I survive the chemo.
~~~~~~~~~
I like logic puzzles. They exercise my brain! Sudoku is my most favorite puzzle at present. My son got me a program for my HP iPAQ, my handheld “pocket computer” I purchased to keep all my notes and info in one place. Today’s Raising Duncan illustrated my point “poifectly!” And, since I was working with Hispanics, Spanish-speaking people, I got a Spanish/English dictionary on a memory card for my iPAQ as well. I like to be able to communicate, and I don’t mind learning a few words doing that.
When the ass’t manager at the SweatShop found out that I liked Sudoku, he made it a point to give me copies of the Sudoku books that came in for destruction. Now, these books were to be destroyed FOR A REASON! Not all the puzzles were solvable!!
I put these books on a shelf in a bookcase in my bathroom. When I have a few minutes to spare in the bathroom(!), I open to an easy puzzle and have at ‘er. I usually can solve one in less than ten minutes. Some take more time.
When I do have a problem with a particular puzzle, I can input the “paper puzzle” into my pocket PC (PPC) program, and it can tell me if it is solvable or not. Then, if it is, I can solve it in my PPC. I can switch from the number format to colored tiles, and back again. The colored tiles really let you see spatial relationships better than the numbers do.
So, I can determine if my inability to solve a particular puzzle is a fault of the publisher or my inability to solve the logic. I can also check the answers in the book to see if they even match the current puzzle. Ask Amy, she can tell you all this.
Recently I started coming up with puzzles, easy puzzles, I couldn’t seem to solve. Not only couldn’t I solve them; I was making mistakes doing so.
Did you notice that last statement? It’s very important. I RARELY make mistakes in Sudoku! Not related to logic, anyway.
I recently tried the ‘hint’ feature on my program and found that there are times in these games when logic won’t help; one needs to guess. I expect to guess wrong. I don’t expect to make mistakes in logic.
So, when I found that I was, I knew that my brain is being affected as well.
~~~~~~~~~
I hadn’t wanted to get too involved in politics with this blog. But it’s kind of hard not to when the government is involved so much in our lives. The treatment I am currently undergoing is a federally-approved course of treatment. I can’t opt for something they didn’t approve. I can’t use substances that they don’t approve of.
As Ronny pointed out, he has to get special paperwork for his pain meds to get them into the States. And, he can’t bring enough to get him trough a three-week stay. That means he’ll have to bring a prescription with him, or maybe have to see a doctor here, and buy American Pharmaceuticals. Not those crappy European ones.
I always wanted to live long enough to be able to tell you “I told you so.” I think I’ve lived long enough.
So, I feel like George Washington, being bled by his doctors for a horseback riding accident, losing 4 POUNDS of blood, only to die from a throat infection.
~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of which, that’s another of my many SFX (side effects) to manifest itself this go round, Candidiasis. You may have called it “thrush” when your kids had it. It’s a fungal sore that manifests itself in the throat, and for some of us, in the intestines, causing all sorts of fun.
My “magic mouthwash” is supposed to help. I had thought it was just for the pain, but I’m told NOW that it will help to actually kill the yeasty beasties. Again, information that gets to me late.
I found that these beasties can only grow in alkaline environments. So I’m attacking on another front. I have intentionally started eating and drinking acidic items. Yes, it does hurt, but it is food!
~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of pain, I have cut way back on my pain meds. When I switched to the current med, it really didn’t do much for me. I thought it was an issue of building up in my system. And then my doc left on a family emergency, or that’s what they told me, so I didn’t worry about it. It didn’t hurt all that much. The joint pain went away when I started supplementing with magnesium, so there really wasn’t anything much to worry about.
Having gone several times without my pain med ‘cause I forgot it, without an increase in pain, my thought was “Why bother.” Either I was given a placebo, or it, like acetaminophen, doesn’t do much for me at such a low dose. So now I take it only twice a day. I could give it up altogether, I suppose, but habits are hard to break.
~~~~~~~~~
Himmy was observed for the first time on the window shelf yesterday. If I had more ambition, I’d post a picture of the situation. But I’d like to get this posted today, get to the credit union, and get back before I crash.
~~~~~~~~~
Jim Z, a co-worker that Teo knows, stopped by to see how I was doing. Jim’s been through something similar. He had colon cancer years ago and had one of my drugs used on him, the 5-FU. I guess the 5 stands for the number of days it’s administered, because I get it by pump, 1.6 mls per hour over five days. Jim had it administered one big shot, once a day, for five days.
~~~~~~~~~
Yes, as Amy intimated, I do check the blog throughout the day. I’ll get back to respond to the comments later today. In periods of lucidity, over the course of several days, I researched and installed a program to monitor who visits my blog. Its’ over there on the left, under the Esophageal Cancer Ribbon, and is called, appropriately enough, SiteMeter.
So now if you say you visit every day, I can tell. :-D
It is interesting however. I’ve had visitors from Barcelona, Spain and from Chile. Once I can think again, I may be able to tell why they happened to hit upon my blog. What info were they looking for?
~~~~~~~~~
I’d better get going. I had a big breakfast, (182 pounds this AM) a whole bunch of OJ, and my Mexican hot chocolate. So, my appetite may be coming back. The juice tasted better today than when I purchased it on Thursday, so my taste may be coming back. I may be on my way to recovering from round 3.
But, I’m still exhausted, and in a foul mood. I’ll try not to let it out TOO much.
Thanks for playing this round of Wouldn't Be Dead For Dollars!
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Quick Update
Hi all,
Well, I got worried 'cause I didn't read any posts from Dad since Monday, and I texted him earlier today, with no response, so I called him. He answered, just fine. Well, he's not fine, but he answered. He was watching a movie and cuddling with Ben's cat. Well, cuddling alternating with defending his ice cream from the cat.
He's feeling pretty crappy. As he put it, he's "doing as well as can be expected," for a 3rd round of chemo. He's feeling very tired, run-down, and kinda bummed out, so I said I'd post on the blog today, in case anyone else was getting worried. I tried to remind him that NO ONE ever has an easy time with chemo, the point of chemo is to KILL fast-growing cells, so of course he's feeling miserable. But, as many of us know, he's kinda stubborn ;-), and he's kinda mad at his body for not having an easier time of it this go-round. He was hoping that, since the 2nd round wasn't as bad as the first, that this round would be even easier. Alas, that is not the case, and he is understandably disappointed.
So, he's just feeling pretty crappy, all around, and hasn't felt up to posting. But, knowing him, I'm sure he's still sneaking peeks to see who's commenting and whether or not I'm posting (ha, I am ;-)!), so please do continue to send your well-wishes and positive thoughts his way...
More soon,
Amy
Well, I got worried 'cause I didn't read any posts from Dad since Monday, and I texted him earlier today, with no response, so I called him. He answered, just fine. Well, he's not fine, but he answered. He was watching a movie and cuddling with Ben's cat. Well, cuddling alternating with defending his ice cream from the cat.
He's feeling pretty crappy. As he put it, he's "doing as well as can be expected," for a 3rd round of chemo. He's feeling very tired, run-down, and kinda bummed out, so I said I'd post on the blog today, in case anyone else was getting worried. I tried to remind him that NO ONE ever has an easy time with chemo, the point of chemo is to KILL fast-growing cells, so of course he's feeling miserable. But, as many of us know, he's kinda stubborn ;-), and he's kinda mad at his body for not having an easier time of it this go-round. He was hoping that, since the 2nd round wasn't as bad as the first, that this round would be even easier. Alas, that is not the case, and he is understandably disappointed.
So, he's just feeling pretty crappy, all around, and hasn't felt up to posting. But, knowing him, I'm sure he's still sneaking peeks to see who's commenting and whether or not I'm posting (ha, I am ;-)!), so please do continue to send your well-wishes and positive thoughts his way...
More soon,
Amy
Monday, October 29, 2007
Ever After
Just a couple of numbers whilst I still remember them: I was 197 pounds Saturday morning, 190 pounds Sunday morning, and 184 pounds this morning. How’d you like to lose weight like that? All you have to do is be up every two hours or so.
Personally, I’d prefer to sleep, but….
~~~~~~~~~
I was getting the garbage ready to go out in the morning (Ben, I remembered the stuff from the basement), Mousebane was on the window ledge watching me when he took a swipe at me with his paw. Caught me in the ear. Now, I don’t think that he drew blood, but it is somewhat strange the way he’s been acting lately. Must be the change for him. (No, not THAT change, I meant the living arrangements.)
I sometimes eat an ice cream cone in the evening to take my meds with. The other day he tried to take the cone away from me while I was sitting in the recliner. I didn’t have anywhere to go so I ended up holding it away from him. But it was still curious that he got “assertive” (?) about food.
Now, I’m not angry, just curious. Any cat whisperers out there who can explain this recent behavior?
~~~~~~~~~
I showed Ben my mouth sores last night. (He puts up with so much from me...) They ain’t purty, but they’re not hurting much this time, either. It’s not like I NEED my magic mouthwash. It just illustrates that I’m not out of the woods yet. Cells in me are still dying.
I had the pump removed today and got my WBC-building shot, so I should start feeling better. I hope that I’m not being premature, but I think I’m already bouncing back from this last bout with chemo. At least, I spent the evening in the recliner watching a movie, getting up when necessary, and not d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g my butt around when I got up. It’s a SIGN I'm telling ya!
I think that I’m going to bed soon, and see how long I can sleep tonight. I’ll pass on the midnight meds and see if I can get through night without pain. The tumor is shrinking, right. Should be less pain. Hopefully.
I also talked to the ABCMC medical records today. I already have a request in for my records, but since I found out that I can get my PET scans on CD, I’ve been wanting to post them for you. They said, maybe next week….
~~~~~~~~~
Robin, it turns out that I have seen Ever After before. I remembered the opening scene with her father, but hardly anything else. There were a few scenes that I knew that I’d seen before, but with my memory, I haven’t the foggiest as to when, or with whom, for that matter.
I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t one of Drew’s better pictures, I thought. But it was far enough away from the fairy tale that most of it came as a surprise. Not much logic to it.
A couple of favorite quotes, when Danielle (Drew) says to the ESM (evil step mom) that all she wanted was to be loved, and ESM says, “But how can one love a pebble in one’s shoe?” OK, it wasn’t a “favorite,” but at least memorable. I’d have felt the pain.
My favorite was when Danielle asked that her ESM and her ESS (evil step sister) receive the same consideration that they had shown her. I’ve had this thing about the Golden Rule lately.
I liked seeing the chateaus and the French countryside. I was also pleased to recognize Loreena McKennitt’s Mummer’s Dance in the movie trailer. Different culture, but, hey, they’re all European, right?
That’s it; I’m off to bed. Hopefully I’ll feel enough better that I can get a few things done tomorrow.
Personally, I’d prefer to sleep, but….
~~~~~~~~~
I was getting the garbage ready to go out in the morning (Ben, I remembered the stuff from the basement), Mousebane was on the window ledge watching me when he took a swipe at me with his paw. Caught me in the ear. Now, I don’t think that he drew blood, but it is somewhat strange the way he’s been acting lately. Must be the change for him. (No, not THAT change, I meant the living arrangements.)
I sometimes eat an ice cream cone in the evening to take my meds with. The other day he tried to take the cone away from me while I was sitting in the recliner. I didn’t have anywhere to go so I ended up holding it away from him. But it was still curious that he got “assertive” (?) about food.
Now, I’m not angry, just curious. Any cat whisperers out there who can explain this recent behavior?
~~~~~~~~~
I showed Ben my mouth sores last night. (He puts up with so much from me...) They ain’t purty, but they’re not hurting much this time, either. It’s not like I NEED my magic mouthwash. It just illustrates that I’m not out of the woods yet. Cells in me are still dying.
I had the pump removed today and got my WBC-building shot, so I should start feeling better. I hope that I’m not being premature, but I think I’m already bouncing back from this last bout with chemo. At least, I spent the evening in the recliner watching a movie, getting up when necessary, and not d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g my butt around when I got up. It’s a SIGN I'm telling ya!
I think that I’m going to bed soon, and see how long I can sleep tonight. I’ll pass on the midnight meds and see if I can get through night without pain. The tumor is shrinking, right. Should be less pain. Hopefully.
I also talked to the ABCMC medical records today. I already have a request in for my records, but since I found out that I can get my PET scans on CD, I’ve been wanting to post them for you. They said, maybe next week….
~~~~~~~~~
Robin, it turns out that I have seen Ever After before. I remembered the opening scene with her father, but hardly anything else. There were a few scenes that I knew that I’d seen before, but with my memory, I haven’t the foggiest as to when, or with whom, for that matter.
I’m sorry to say that it wasn’t one of Drew’s better pictures, I thought. But it was far enough away from the fairy tale that most of it came as a surprise. Not much logic to it.
A couple of favorite quotes, when Danielle (Drew) says to the ESM (evil step mom) that all she wanted was to be loved, and ESM says, “But how can one love a pebble in one’s shoe?” OK, it wasn’t a “favorite,” but at least memorable. I’d have felt the pain.
My favorite was when Danielle asked that her ESM and her ESS (evil step sister) receive the same consideration that they had shown her. I’ve had this thing about the Golden Rule lately.
I liked seeing the chateaus and the French countryside. I was also pleased to recognize Loreena McKennitt’s Mummer’s Dance in the movie trailer. Different culture, but, hey, they’re all European, right?
That’s it; I’m off to bed. Hopefully I’ll feel enough better that I can get a few things done tomorrow.
“Purple Haze was in my brain…”
"…lately things don't seem the same,
actin' funny but I don't know why
'scuse me while I kiss the sky."
But you see, there’s the difference, I DO know why.
I’d like very much for you to understand what I’m about to say. So I’d like for you to go to this article, Lost in cancer's fog, and read it first. Listen to the patients, notice the symptoms they describe, and then reflect on my recent past. Notice anything, anything at all?
This is what I’m going through, to some extent, right now. They call it “chemobrain.” Quite possibly it’s a reaction to killing brain cells along with cancer cells.
But I’ve been here before. I went through all this before. I thought I was over it.
When in my 30's and 40’s, I complained to my doctors that I was losing my concentration, my ability to think, to remember. Most of the time, I was just ignored. When I persisted with my complaint the doctors pooh-poohed my concerns on the matter. “Aw, you’re just getting older, memory is starting to go. You know how it is.”
I’d been losing my ability to concentrate and to remember for quite a few years, but like the article characterizes chemobrain, "It's subtle," she said. "We are not talking about dementia or anything grossly obvious."
It came to a head when I moved to Green Bay ten years ago. Thankfully, I had a son who got me started on the Internet so I could do the limited research that I have. I’d never have been able to do the research I did through a library.
As I tried to work through all this, without the help of the Conventional Medicine practitioners, I learned more and more. Trying to keep it in my head was the problem. Eventually, I convinced myself what the real issue was, and took steps to relive the symptoms, and the problem.
And I succeeded, or so I thought. Things were getting better. I didn’t need to make notes to remember things. I’d gotten off the meds I talked the doctors into giving me to increase my concentration.
But the reason for my memory issues could have also caused my cancer as well. And it could also be part of the reason for chemobrain. But more on that later.
What I’d like you to do is to review the symptoms described in that article and to think back over the last ten years or so and your relationship with me. Notice anything?
One thing the article doesn’t mention is the mood changes. I don’t know if they are there and just not being mentioned, or if, with chemobrain, they are actually non-existent. But with the neurological issues I faced earlier, they played a big part of what was going on with me.
You just didn’t know. How could I explain something I didn’t understand, something that CM doctors wouldn’t talk about?
So, in a long-winded kind of way, I guess I’m apologizing for all those years of my not living up to your expectations. It wasn’t personal; there was an underlying cause. One that I’m having to live through again.
actin' funny but I don't know why
'scuse me while I kiss the sky."
But you see, there’s the difference, I DO know why.
I’d like very much for you to understand what I’m about to say. So I’d like for you to go to this article, Lost in cancer's fog, and read it first. Listen to the patients, notice the symptoms they describe, and then reflect on my recent past. Notice anything, anything at all?
This is what I’m going through, to some extent, right now. They call it “chemobrain.” Quite possibly it’s a reaction to killing brain cells along with cancer cells.
But I’ve been here before. I went through all this before. I thought I was over it.
When in my 30's and 40’s, I complained to my doctors that I was losing my concentration, my ability to think, to remember. Most of the time, I was just ignored. When I persisted with my complaint the doctors pooh-poohed my concerns on the matter. “Aw, you’re just getting older, memory is starting to go. You know how it is.”
I’d been losing my ability to concentrate and to remember for quite a few years, but like the article characterizes chemobrain, "It's subtle," she said. "We are not talking about dementia or anything grossly obvious."
It came to a head when I moved to Green Bay ten years ago. Thankfully, I had a son who got me started on the Internet so I could do the limited research that I have. I’d never have been able to do the research I did through a library.
As I tried to work through all this, without the help of the Conventional Medicine practitioners, I learned more and more. Trying to keep it in my head was the problem. Eventually, I convinced myself what the real issue was, and took steps to relive the symptoms, and the problem.
And I succeeded, or so I thought. Things were getting better. I didn’t need to make notes to remember things. I’d gotten off the meds I talked the doctors into giving me to increase my concentration.
But the reason for my memory issues could have also caused my cancer as well. And it could also be part of the reason for chemobrain. But more on that later.
What I’d like you to do is to review the symptoms described in that article and to think back over the last ten years or so and your relationship with me. Notice anything?
One thing the article doesn’t mention is the mood changes. I don’t know if they are there and just not being mentioned, or if, with chemobrain, they are actually non-existent. But with the neurological issues I faced earlier, they played a big part of what was going on with me.
You just didn’t know. How could I explain something I didn’t understand, something that CM doctors wouldn’t talk about?
So, in a long-winded kind of way, I guess I’m apologizing for all those years of my not living up to your expectations. It wasn’t personal; there was an underlying cause. One that I’m having to live through again.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Just Another Day in Paradise.
OK, maybe not paradise, but darn close.
In case you didn’t notice it, I was being facetious! I’m back in the thralls of my drug-induced lethargy. And not the good drugs, the anti-cancer kind of haze.
Got home last night and my legs had swollen from all the standing. I looked like the Elephant Man. Thankfully(?), I was up all night getting rid of the water. (You figure it out.) But that meant that I was quite tired, so I ended up dozing quite a bit of the day. And when I was up, I didn’t exhibit much energy.
I did get a chance to look at a few sites where I can post wedding pictures. I’ll look into it more tomorrow, if I can round up the concentration.
Along about 4AM I was awake and thinking about Rawley, wondering what he would have made of the day’s goings on. Wondering what advice he would have given the newlyweds. I came up with a few comments of my own, but I decided to spare them.
Instead, I watched Crocodile Dundee this evening. Although it made for a lot of our jokes and one-liners, I don’t recall ever having seen the movie with Rawley. I first saw it in Madison; I was up from Illinois for a class or two at the UW Mad Campus. Evening comes and what does one do with oneself in the party town? CD was in the theater, I’d heard good things about it from Rawley, and so I stopped by to see it.
So, sometimes when I’m depressed and missing him, I pull out my copy of the first movie and watch it.
Besides, I goofed up tonight. What little I ate, I started eating way too late. I have to wait a while before I go to bed or risk having not-so-happy returns. So, I watched the movie and then thought I’d update this—notice that it’s gone from a morning event to an evening event?—while waiting for my meal to digest.
I even added a few wedding photos to my screensaver collection while waiting.
But, it’s getting close to my (updated) bedtime. I can take my pain meds a little earlier, I think.
I just reread this and I find that it’s not very eventful tonight. More like a placeholder; “Yup, still here!” Sorry! Maybe I’ll have more energy tomorrow.
In case you didn’t notice it, I was being facetious! I’m back in the thralls of my drug-induced lethargy. And not the good drugs, the anti-cancer kind of haze.
Got home last night and my legs had swollen from all the standing. I looked like the Elephant Man. Thankfully(?), I was up all night getting rid of the water. (You figure it out.) But that meant that I was quite tired, so I ended up dozing quite a bit of the day. And when I was up, I didn’t exhibit much energy.
I did get a chance to look at a few sites where I can post wedding pictures. I’ll look into it more tomorrow, if I can round up the concentration.
Along about 4AM I was awake and thinking about Rawley, wondering what he would have made of the day’s goings on. Wondering what advice he would have given the newlyweds. I came up with a few comments of my own, but I decided to spare them.
Instead, I watched Crocodile Dundee this evening. Although it made for a lot of our jokes and one-liners, I don’t recall ever having seen the movie with Rawley. I first saw it in Madison; I was up from Illinois for a class or two at the UW Mad Campus. Evening comes and what does one do with oneself in the party town? CD was in the theater, I’d heard good things about it from Rawley, and so I stopped by to see it.
So, sometimes when I’m depressed and missing him, I pull out my copy of the first movie and watch it.
Besides, I goofed up tonight. What little I ate, I started eating way too late. I have to wait a while before I go to bed or risk having not-so-happy returns. So, I watched the movie and then thought I’d update this—notice that it’s gone from a morning event to an evening event?—while waiting for my meal to digest.
I even added a few wedding photos to my screensaver collection while waiting.
But, it’s getting close to my (updated) bedtime. I can take my pain meds a little earlier, I think.
I just reread this and I find that it’s not very eventful tonight. More like a placeholder; “Yup, still here!” Sorry! Maybe I’ll have more energy tomorrow.
Friday, October 26, 2007
A Beautiful Wedding!
I really need to get out more and do some work with my camera. I'll be trying to analyse what I did wrong over the next couple of days, but I did get a couple of good shots of Tim and Shelly's wedding.
Here's picture that I took when most of the family came to visit me when Amy was here that I'd like to share. Don't they look like a happy couple?
And then I'd like to post one shot of the happy couple from the wedding. There are so many pictures from today that I'd like to share, for a variety of reasons, but today is theirs!
Here's picture that I took when most of the family came to visit me when Amy was here that I'd like to share. Don't they look like a happy couple?
And then I'd like to post one shot of the happy couple from the wedding. There are so many pictures from today that I'd like to share, for a variety of reasons, but today is theirs!Congratulations, Tim and Shelly! And thanks for inviting me to share your special day. I finally got my free dinner!
OMG, the Wedding is at 2:00PM...
...and I have it in my PDA as being at 6:00!! Am I out of synch, or what? So I guess I will be tired tonight!
I don't even have their gift wrapped, yet. It looks like another trip to Wal-Mart.
Anyway, 198 again this morning, it has got to be water! Although I'm up and about, you won't hear much from me today!
But the melatonin is helping me sleep! I'm hoping the rest of the supplements will be helping my quality of life soon.
Keep some of those happy thoughts handy today for Tim and Shelly as they enter a new phase in their lives and as we wish them all the best!
I don't even have their gift wrapped, yet. It looks like another trip to Wal-Mart.
Anyway, 198 again this morning, it has got to be water! Although I'm up and about, you won't hear much from me today!
But the melatonin is helping me sleep! I'm hoping the rest of the supplements will be helping my quality of life soon.
Keep some of those happy thoughts handy today for Tim and Shelly as they enter a new phase in their lives and as we wish them all the best!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
“No Pain, No Gain”
That’s what Dr. Bergman had said, and he’s right. Unfortunately I’m the one “in pain.” Now, it’s not really pain per se; more like discomfort.
I get the hiccups, a SFX (side effect(s) ) of the meds. It can be distracting. Along with the hiccups, I also have trouble swallowing, or at least initiating swallowing. Will I start a hiccup when I swallow? It has happened, usually when trying to take my meds. Very disconcerting.
And my desire to eat has gone away. I’ve had some ice cream, part of a Filet-o-Fish sandwich, a can of chicken noodle soup, a little bit of a Seroogy’s candy bar (it was for a charity!!), and I think that’s about it. I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up some chewable BeneFiber tablets ‘cause I’m not eating anything I can mix the powder into.
I tried to eat donuts and found that I couldn't stand them. But I had a Jones for something like that. Then I realized that it was a Jones for turnovers. I've tried Wal-Mart's (yuck), Woodman's (not too bad), and Hardee's (gag). I've been sharing these with Ben.
So I decided to go with something that I know that I used to like, Dino Shell turnovers!! So, while I was out, I stopped by and picked up a couple. Ben even tells me they hear on a police scanner that the cops like 'em too. Can you believe that I brought them home and haven't even tried 'em. That's how much I don't feel like eating . I'll still share, though. Ben, there's one on the counter for you. Leave the other one for me tomorrow, maybe. I'll force myself.
This is why I was 194 pounds this AM vs. 197 pounds yesterday. I’m not a big fan of the ups and downs of my weight due to the edema, the diuretics, and the lack of appetite.
~~~~~~~~~
While at the store, I happened to look into one of those 10X magnifying mirrors. I was surprised to see that the hair on my face that I can feel actually shows up. So I have a really, really, really, skimpy beard. I could “shave” with a tweezers. Normally, back when I had a beard, I would shave my throat in the shower rather than go through the extra effort of getting all lathered up at the sink.
Now, it looks like I’ll be taking Ronny’s advice. I, too, have a shaving mug with the bar of soap and a badger-haired brush. I’ll get all lathered up like they did in the old days and shave that way. Now, I do have a straight razor with a leather belt as a strop. Nah, I think I’ll just use my Gillette for right now. My hands get a little shaky under chemo. Amy has had a chance to watch that happen!
~~~~~~~~~
Anybody know what the drug Protonix, a proton-pump inhibitor, does? It shuts off the acid supply to the stomach. Acid, which is necessary to ionize the magnesium oxide into a form more easily absorbed by the stomach. Apparently as we age, we make less hydrochloric acid, which means we absorb less of the magnesium we do get as we get older, leading to the magnesium deficiency related diseases. Why don’t doctors know this and prescribe accordingly, since it affects sleep, moods, and energy levels? All things I’m in need of.
I guess the lady in one of Lois’ links was right; you have to become an armchair expert on your own illness. Thanks Lois!
~~~~~~~~~
I’m sorry I’m so late with this post. I’ve been out most of the day after Ben went to work getting some things done. I still don’t know when or where Tim & Shelly’s wedding will be, but I WILL find out.
~~~~~~~~~
BTW, I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was so easy to get approvals to use my supplements. As I explained to my HR rep at work, it went something like this:
~~~~~~~~~
Well, I’m trying to stay up late tonight, so I sleep late tomorrow, so I don’t crash early tomorrow night. I’d like to enjoy the wedding. I can’t do that if I’m falling asleep.
I’m taking my camera. Maybe I can talk them into allowing me to post a pic or two.
~~~~~~~~~
Right now, I’m going to finish my Ionic Magnesium, plug in a movie, and try to clear my mind.
Speaking of movies, Robin, I ordered a 3-movie copy of Drew Barrymore’s Never Been Kissed/Fever Pitch/Ever After. I’ll get it in a week or so.
And Amy, I bought Shrek 1 & 2 for further study!
~~~~~~~~~
I know that I’m sounding a bit ungrateful in this post. But it goes with the territory, I guess. I learned a few things from the nurse about the mood changes that goes along with the chemo. So, I don’t want you to think that I’m ungrateful after hearing the good news I heard yesterday. And I’m definitely NOT ungrateful for all your support, spoken and unspoken, expressed and unexpressed. Thank you!
~~~~~~~~~
Another note. I don’t know if you noticed but Blogspot had added a feature so that you can check a box on the page of any comment you make and get notification of any replies to your comment in your email box. How cool is that? I get that feature as an author. Now you can get it as a commenter! Use it wisely! :-D
Later!
I get the hiccups, a SFX (side effect(s) ) of the meds. It can be distracting. Along with the hiccups, I also have trouble swallowing, or at least initiating swallowing. Will I start a hiccup when I swallow? It has happened, usually when trying to take my meds. Very disconcerting.
And my desire to eat has gone away. I’ve had some ice cream, part of a Filet-o-Fish sandwich, a can of chicken noodle soup, a little bit of a Seroogy’s candy bar (it was for a charity!!), and I think that’s about it. I stopped by Wal-Mart and picked up some chewable BeneFiber tablets ‘cause I’m not eating anything I can mix the powder into.
I tried to eat donuts and found that I couldn't stand them. But I had a Jones for something like that. Then I realized that it was a Jones for turnovers. I've tried Wal-Mart's (yuck), Woodman's (not too bad), and Hardee's (gag). I've been sharing these with Ben.
So I decided to go with something that I know that I used to like, Dino Shell turnovers!! So, while I was out, I stopped by and picked up a couple. Ben even tells me they hear on a police scanner that the cops like 'em too. Can you believe that I brought them home and haven't even tried 'em. That's how much I don't feel like eating . I'll still share, though. Ben, there's one on the counter for you. Leave the other one for me tomorrow, maybe. I'll force myself.
This is why I was 194 pounds this AM vs. 197 pounds yesterday. I’m not a big fan of the ups and downs of my weight due to the edema, the diuretics, and the lack of appetite.
~~~~~~~~~
While at the store, I happened to look into one of those 10X magnifying mirrors. I was surprised to see that the hair on my face that I can feel actually shows up. So I have a really, really, really, skimpy beard. I could “shave” with a tweezers. Normally, back when I had a beard, I would shave my throat in the shower rather than go through the extra effort of getting all lathered up at the sink.
Now, it looks like I’ll be taking Ronny’s advice. I, too, have a shaving mug with the bar of soap and a badger-haired brush. I’ll get all lathered up like they did in the old days and shave that way. Now, I do have a straight razor with a leather belt as a strop. Nah, I think I’ll just use my Gillette for right now. My hands get a little shaky under chemo. Amy has had a chance to watch that happen!
~~~~~~~~~
Anybody know what the drug Protonix, a proton-pump inhibitor, does? It shuts off the acid supply to the stomach. Acid, which is necessary to ionize the magnesium oxide into a form more easily absorbed by the stomach. Apparently as we age, we make less hydrochloric acid, which means we absorb less of the magnesium we do get as we get older, leading to the magnesium deficiency related diseases. Why don’t doctors know this and prescribe accordingly, since it affects sleep, moods, and energy levels? All things I’m in need of.
I guess the lady in one of Lois’ links was right; you have to become an armchair expert on your own illness. Thanks Lois!
~~~~~~~~~
I’m sorry I’m so late with this post. I’ve been out most of the day after Ben went to work getting some things done. I still don’t know when or where Tim & Shelly’s wedding will be, but I WILL find out.
~~~~~~~~~
BTW, I didn’t mean to make it sound like it was so easy to get approvals to use my supplements. As I explained to my HR rep at work, it went something like this:
“It is interesting that when I was “just a truck driver” I couldn't take my supplements without argument. When I explained yesterday, however, that I have been a lab tech in both a Vitamin and Mineral Lab, and a Main Analytical Chemistry Lab for food-related products; I set up a analytical chemistry lab for a local manufacturer as a Quality Control Manager; I have been a Quality Assurance Manager for a Contract Medical Device Manufacturer having to deal with the FDA regularly; along with being a QA/QC Manager in a few other industries; all of a sudden, they find out that I might know something about what I’m talking about. The arguments dropped almost to nothing.”
~~~~~~~~~
Well, I’m trying to stay up late tonight, so I sleep late tomorrow, so I don’t crash early tomorrow night. I’d like to enjoy the wedding. I can’t do that if I’m falling asleep.
I’m taking my camera. Maybe I can talk them into allowing me to post a pic or two.
~~~~~~~~~
Right now, I’m going to finish my Ionic Magnesium, plug in a movie, and try to clear my mind.
Speaking of movies, Robin, I ordered a 3-movie copy of Drew Barrymore’s Never Been Kissed/Fever Pitch/Ever After. I’ll get it in a week or so.
And Amy, I bought Shrek 1 & 2 for further study!
~~~~~~~~~
I know that I’m sounding a bit ungrateful in this post. But it goes with the territory, I guess. I learned a few things from the nurse about the mood changes that goes along with the chemo. So, I don’t want you to think that I’m ungrateful after hearing the good news I heard yesterday. And I’m definitely NOT ungrateful for all your support, spoken and unspoken, expressed and unexpressed. Thank you!
~~~~~~~~~
Another note. I don’t know if you noticed but Blogspot had added a feature so that you can check a box on the page of any comment you make and get notification of any replies to your comment in your email box. How cool is that? I get that feature as an author. Now you can get it as a commenter! Use it wisely! :-D
Later!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
“Dramatic Improvement”
And I suppose I have you to blame, I mean to bless, for those words I heard today. As with any undertaking, it’s the support team, the cheerleading squad, which always seems to be overlooked. I think that’s unfair. I may have done the suffering, but you guys have done the supporting, which may be even harder than suffering, and I thank you for it.
The feeling I got from the PET scan technician has proven correct. The three lymph nodes that had contained cancer cells appear to be clear, no sign of cancer activity. The tumor in the stomach has been reduced by 1/2 to 1/3 the original size, which was pretty big to begin with.
I’m hoping to get copies of the scans. When I do, I’ll post them on the blog.
Doctor Patel stated that their expectations, their hopes, after the second course of chemotherapy is to simply have held the cancer at bay, to have kept it from growing any more. To find that the cancer has been substantially reduced after Round 2 is a “dramatic improvement!”
It seemed significant to me that my Nurse For The Day, Nurse Diane, seemed to know which two words I meant when I mentioned hearing two good words from the doctor. One of the other nurses that heard about the results from me has already used the “R” word: remission. There's hope, yet!
That still means that I have to suffer through Round 3 of chemotherapy. But with any luck, and the support of my cheerleading squad, there may not be a need for Round 4. I have no knowledge of what will happen after Round 3, though. I think that we’re playing it by ear, here.
But, to help me get through Round 3, I have obtained an agreement from Dr. Patel allowing me to use my vitamins and minerals. I will also be able to use some of my other supplements like the turmeric and curcumin for joint pain, melatonin to get to sleep, etc. I will have to run other supplements by him for approval. I’m hoping that I will be able to use the Enzymatic Therapy IP-6 for several reasons. The strength I have isn't the "cancer" strength, but it will help with joint and other issues. But the Vitamin D and the magnesium will certainly help my “quality of life.”
So, things are looking good!
My thanks to all of you for helping to keep my spirits up. I have a certain core strength in my “stubbornness,” but it always helps to have support from “lots of people who love you,” as one of my email correspondents has put it.
So give yourself a big pat on the back, have a drink if you do (I was told by a nurse that I could have an “occasional” drink), and help me celebrate this victory!
The feeling I got from the PET scan technician has proven correct. The three lymph nodes that had contained cancer cells appear to be clear, no sign of cancer activity. The tumor in the stomach has been reduced by 1/2 to 1/3 the original size, which was pretty big to begin with.
I’m hoping to get copies of the scans. When I do, I’ll post them on the blog.
Doctor Patel stated that their expectations, their hopes, after the second course of chemotherapy is to simply have held the cancer at bay, to have kept it from growing any more. To find that the cancer has been substantially reduced after Round 2 is a “dramatic improvement!”
It seemed significant to me that my Nurse For The Day, Nurse Diane, seemed to know which two words I meant when I mentioned hearing two good words from the doctor. One of the other nurses that heard about the results from me has already used the “R” word: remission. There's hope, yet!
That still means that I have to suffer through Round 3 of chemotherapy. But with any luck, and the support of my cheerleading squad, there may not be a need for Round 4. I have no knowledge of what will happen after Round 3, though. I think that we’re playing it by ear, here.
But, to help me get through Round 3, I have obtained an agreement from Dr. Patel allowing me to use my vitamins and minerals. I will also be able to use some of my other supplements like the turmeric and curcumin for joint pain, melatonin to get to sleep, etc. I will have to run other supplements by him for approval. I’m hoping that I will be able to use the Enzymatic Therapy IP-6 for several reasons. The strength I have isn't the "cancer" strength, but it will help with joint and other issues. But the Vitamin D and the magnesium will certainly help my “quality of life.”
So, things are looking good!
My thanks to all of you for helping to keep my spirits up. I have a certain core strength in my “stubbornness,” but it always helps to have support from “lots of people who love you,” as one of my email correspondents has put it.
So give yourself a big pat on the back, have a drink if you do (I was told by a nurse that I could have an “occasional” drink), and help me celebrate this victory!
Then There Are Days…
…that make you wonder.
I posted last night at 9:05. I took a picture of my lower leg to show the edema (ain’t it cute?), took my shower, shaved my injection port to accommodate the tape later today, turned on my random noise generator, and finally climbed into bed sometime around 9:45.
Now, I can have trouble falling asleep. That’s why I usually use melatonin to help me fall asleep when I really need to. It’s a chemical already produced by the body (there’s those chemicals again) so it’s just as if my body kicked up its production a little. It’s one of the supplements that will be under discussion later today with my oncologist.
So there I was, trying to sleep and I could hear activity--read that noise--in the house. Usually I can identify it and promptly ignore it. Not tonight; it didn’t fit any pattern I'm used to. So I get up, grab the pistol and the flash (this should go without saying even when I wasn’t in the ‘female, aged, or infirmed’ group), and start my rounds.
Nothing outside, nothing inside. WTF! Back to bed.
Just get settled, start drifting off, and there’s more sound. Lay there a while and try to identify the sound; can’t. Get up again, grab my “stuff,” and made the rounds again. Nothing.
Ben doesn’t usually get home much before midnight. But I was back up again several times before then trying to find out what was making the noise. So there I am, standing at the back door, at 10:56, listening for the noise to repeat itself. I hear a car door slam, expect to see the backyard light come on (motion detector), and to have Ben come through the door. Won’t that be a surprise for him? LOL Wasn't him, but now I'm wondering who's close enough that I can hear their car door slam.
While I’m standing there, I finally hear some noise behind me! I check the closet in the entryway. Nothing! The only thing behind that is the bathroom and the door was open and nothing was visible in there when I went by. The operant word there was “visible.”
I went back to the bathroom to “checka out,” as Rawley used to say. Nothing. I do have cupboards under the sink; they haven’t been opened in a while. However, if a cat could get in there, it surely could get out unless maybe Himmy got hung up on something. Nothing in there, though. I do have a closet in the bathroom, and I had been in there earlier, but I specifically checked before closing the door because Mousebane had been underfoot earlier.
But I check again anyway.
Guess who comes walking out of the closet, tail held in the air, asking me WTF took me so long? Mousebane!
The bathroom is next door to my bedroom. Any of his attempts to get out could easily be heard over the noise of my sound machine. When I’m up, he’s listening for ME so HE isn’t making any noise. LOL
I’m not mad. That would be like being mad at the fires in SoCal. They’re both “forces of Nature.” I just need to "checka out" better next time. I have to get used to having SNEAKY cats around. He must have walked in as I closed the door with my attention elsewhere because there’s nothing but a toilet plunger on the floor to hide behind.
I went back to bed. I decided that, since I would just get to sleep when the alarm would go off for my midnight meds, I’d take them now and turn off the alarms. I heard Ben come home about 11:20 or so, and finally drifted off to sleep. But 6:00AM came awful early. It’s a good thing I can snooze during chemo. But I may be too worked up from my visit with my oncologist to be able to do so.
~~~~~~~~~
I mentioned a picture of my lower leg. I thought I’d post one after only one day on my dexamethasone. It’ll get worse. Then I’ll be back on the Lasix to get rid of the water and the potassium, so I’ll be back on the horse pill to replace the potassium. BTW, thanks for the concern about crushing the tablet just to get it down, but it is just potassium chloride. No hu hu!
What is somewhat funny to my twisted sense of humor is that EVERYTHING below the waist swells up. Do I have an answer to some of those spam emails or what? I don’t need ‘em.
Back to the leg, you can see where my shoe fit and where my sock ended. The rest is just blown up! And that was while I was just sitting at the computer.
I just had a thought; did you hear the bell go off? I think I might have to take my daughter’s idea and sit on my big exercise ball at the desk. See if that helps my back.
~~~~~~~~~
Reading the comments this morning, I was reminded of our (Ben and I) “escape from Florida” this spring. We encountered wildfires near Lake City, and had to drive west in the panhandle until we hit Alabama and then we could head North. So I thought I’d just add a picture of that trip. This was May 12. We didn't use face masks or anything, although a lot of the locals were, but I did get a bit of a headache from breathing the smoke that got into the car. So, I can sympathize with Tayler's plight, and wish her well. One day was an adventure. After that, it stops being fun.
I posted last night at 9:05. I took a picture of my lower leg to show the edema (ain’t it cute?), took my shower, shaved my injection port to accommodate the tape later today, turned on my random noise generator, and finally climbed into bed sometime around 9:45.
Now, I can have trouble falling asleep. That’s why I usually use melatonin to help me fall asleep when I really need to. It’s a chemical already produced by the body (there’s those chemicals again) so it’s just as if my body kicked up its production a little. It’s one of the supplements that will be under discussion later today with my oncologist.
So there I was, trying to sleep and I could hear activity--read that noise--in the house. Usually I can identify it and promptly ignore it. Not tonight; it didn’t fit any pattern I'm used to. So I get up, grab the pistol and the flash (this should go without saying even when I wasn’t in the ‘female, aged, or infirmed’ group), and start my rounds.
Nothing outside, nothing inside. WTF! Back to bed.
Just get settled, start drifting off, and there’s more sound. Lay there a while and try to identify the sound; can’t. Get up again, grab my “stuff,” and made the rounds again. Nothing.
Ben doesn’t usually get home much before midnight. But I was back up again several times before then trying to find out what was making the noise. So there I am, standing at the back door, at 10:56, listening for the noise to repeat itself. I hear a car door slam, expect to see the backyard light come on (motion detector), and to have Ben come through the door. Won’t that be a surprise for him? LOL Wasn't him, but now I'm wondering who's close enough that I can hear their car door slam.
While I’m standing there, I finally hear some noise behind me! I check the closet in the entryway. Nothing! The only thing behind that is the bathroom and the door was open and nothing was visible in there when I went by. The operant word there was “visible.”
I went back to the bathroom to “checka out,” as Rawley used to say. Nothing. I do have cupboards under the sink; they haven’t been opened in a while. However, if a cat could get in there, it surely could get out unless maybe Himmy got hung up on something. Nothing in there, though. I do have a closet in the bathroom, and I had been in there earlier, but I specifically checked before closing the door because Mousebane had been underfoot earlier.
But I check again anyway.
Guess who comes walking out of the closet, tail held in the air, asking me WTF took me so long? Mousebane!
The bathroom is next door to my bedroom. Any of his attempts to get out could easily be heard over the noise of my sound machine. When I’m up, he’s listening for ME so HE isn’t making any noise. LOL
I’m not mad. That would be like being mad at the fires in SoCal. They’re both “forces of Nature.” I just need to "checka out" better next time. I have to get used to having SNEAKY cats around. He must have walked in as I closed the door with my attention elsewhere because there’s nothing but a toilet plunger on the floor to hide behind.
I went back to bed. I decided that, since I would just get to sleep when the alarm would go off for my midnight meds, I’d take them now and turn off the alarms. I heard Ben come home about 11:20 or so, and finally drifted off to sleep. But 6:00AM came awful early. It’s a good thing I can snooze during chemo. But I may be too worked up from my visit with my oncologist to be able to do so.
~~~~~~~~~
I mentioned a picture of my lower leg. I thought I’d post one after only one day on my dexamethasone. It’ll get worse. Then I’ll be back on the Lasix to get rid of the water and the potassium, so I’ll be back on the horse pill to replace the potassium. BTW, thanks for the concern about crushing the tablet just to get it down, but it is just potassium chloride. No hu hu!
What is somewhat funny to my twisted sense of humor is that EVERYTHING below the waist swells up. Do I have an answer to some of those spam emails or what? I don’t need ‘em.
Back to the leg, you can see where my shoe fit and where my sock ended. The rest is just blown up! And that was while I was just sitting at the computer.
I just had a thought; did you hear the bell go off? I think I might have to take my daughter’s idea and sit on my big exercise ball at the desk. See if that helps my back.
~~~~~~~~~
Reading the comments this morning, I was reminded of our (Ben and I) “escape from Florida” this spring. We encountered wildfires near Lake City, and had to drive west in the panhandle until we hit Alabama and then we could head North. So I thought I’d just add a picture of that trip. This was May 12. We didn't use face masks or anything, although a lot of the locals were, but I did get a bit of a headache from breathing the smoke that got into the car. So, I can sympathize with Tayler's plight, and wish her well. One day was an adventure. After that, it stops being fun.
I just found this satellite photo on line of the SoCal wildfires and thought I'd post it here. Our best wishes to Tayler.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
It’s Kinda Funny…
…I used the same phrase about ‘keeping fingers crossed’ in an email about 7:30 this evening long before I read Amy’s post. I haven’t used that phrase in years, and now I find that I’m repeating my daughter in advance of reading her blog. “Curiouser and curiouser…”
Between doing other things, I’ve been trying to catch up on my emails. I’m down to 35 items in my inbox. Not all of them are emails to be replied to. Most are articles that I want to read. Por ejemplo (For example), you might wonder why I use Wikipedia for a lot of my definitions. A Daily Article from the Ludwig von Mises Institute, Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?, might explain my interest.
What is the Mises Institute?
I learn a lot from these folks about the things I believe in.
And I have other sources that I read as well, like The Advocates for Self-Government, the Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership, and even a daily source for quotes relating to liberty. Like this one by John Adams:
Amy & Ben: remind me to set up a list of links to Sites of Interest on this blog.
The articles I’ll have to think about I leave in my inbox until I get a chance to deal with it. I do the same with the emails to which I need to respond. So they never go away until I deal with them.
Unfortunately, I have the habit of dealing with them in reverse chronological order; I deal with the most recent first. So, if I get overwhelmed, I don’t get to my early emails as fast as I’d like. Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~
I carpeted the platform today. Mousebane has been up there several times, since. He uses the ramp to strop his claws.
I will put the railing on sometime Thursday or Friday.
~~~~~~~~~
I finished the electrical installations in the “office” and am set up to hook up the rest of my toys. First though, I need to clear away some of the overburden, the piles of paperwork including finding the directions to Tim’s & Shelly’s wedding. So you know that I’ll at least find that much.
~~~~~~~~~
I was out today to file for my disability benefits from my credit union. The ‘relationship manager’ and I had an interesting talk. It seems that he, too, has rescued his pet dog, a bulldog. There's more of them than you know!
~~~~~~~~~
Food. It’s amazing what we put up with.
I did run out to Wendy’s on Velp. I know, you’re probably saying, “What Wendy’s on Velp?” I checked Google Maps and found one there. Unfortunately, my physical reconnaissance didn’t find it. So I ran down to the one on Oneida.
The B&G left something to be desired. The sausage, egg, and cheese Frescata biscuit left something to be desired, as well. I may have to run out to Hardee’s tomorrow before chemo and try their B&G again. If I don’t care for it, I’ll have to look for my recipes.
I mentioned to Ben that, after having my taste buds messed with, I have problems with eating food that really doesn’t taste all that great. Some of the things I used to eat I can only assume that I ate from habit. I’m eating for taste, now.
~~~~~~~~~
Well, it’s off to bed. I want to take a shower first. But, we’ve been experiencing some drain blockage since Ben came. I realize that I have lost some hair, but most of my hair was less than ½” in length. And it’s longer hair that I’ve been pulling out of the drain. Must be Amy’s from when she was here! :-P
I may get a chance to post tomorrow AM, but if not, I’ll post the news from my meeting with the doctor tomorrow evening.
Keep your fingers crossed….
Between doing other things, I’ve been trying to catch up on my emails. I’m down to 35 items in my inbox. Not all of them are emails to be replied to. Most are articles that I want to read. Por ejemplo (For example), you might wonder why I use Wikipedia for a lot of my definitions. A Daily Article from the Ludwig von Mises Institute, Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?, might explain my interest.
What is the Mises Institute?
“The Ludwig von Mises Institute is the research and educational center of classical liberalism, libertarian political theory, and the Austrian School of economics….
“It is the mission of the Mises Institute to restore a high place for theory in economics and the social sciences, encourage a revival of critical historical research, and draw attention to neglected traditions in Western philosophy. In this cause, the Mises Institute works to advance the Austrian School of economics and the Misesian tradition, and, in application, defends the market economy, private property, sound money, and peaceful international relations, while opposing government intervention as economically and socially destructive.”
I learn a lot from these folks about the things I believe in.
And I have other sources that I read as well, like The Advocates for Self-Government, the Jews for the Preservation of Firearm Ownership, and even a daily source for quotes relating to liberty. Like this one by John Adams:
"The Revolution was effected before the War commenced. The Revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people; a change in their religious sentiments of their duties and obligations ...
“This radical change in the principles, opinions, sentiments, and affections of the people, was the real American Revolution."
Amy & Ben: remind me to set up a list of links to Sites of Interest on this blog.
The articles I’ll have to think about I leave in my inbox until I get a chance to deal with it. I do the same with the emails to which I need to respond. So they never go away until I deal with them.
Unfortunately, I have the habit of dealing with them in reverse chronological order; I deal with the most recent first. So, if I get overwhelmed, I don’t get to my early emails as fast as I’d like. Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~
I carpeted the platform today. Mousebane has been up there several times, since. He uses the ramp to strop his claws.
I will put the railing on sometime Thursday or Friday.
~~~~~~~~~
I finished the electrical installations in the “office” and am set up to hook up the rest of my toys. First though, I need to clear away some of the overburden, the piles of paperwork including finding the directions to Tim’s & Shelly’s wedding. So you know that I’ll at least find that much.
~~~~~~~~~
I was out today to file for my disability benefits from my credit union. The ‘relationship manager’ and I had an interesting talk. It seems that he, too, has rescued his pet dog, a bulldog. There's more of them than you know!
~~~~~~~~~
Food. It’s amazing what we put up with.
I did run out to Wendy’s on Velp. I know, you’re probably saying, “What Wendy’s on Velp?” I checked Google Maps and found one there. Unfortunately, my physical reconnaissance didn’t find it. So I ran down to the one on Oneida.
The B&G left something to be desired. The sausage, egg, and cheese Frescata biscuit left something to be desired, as well. I may have to run out to Hardee’s tomorrow before chemo and try their B&G again. If I don’t care for it, I’ll have to look for my recipes.
I mentioned to Ben that, after having my taste buds messed with, I have problems with eating food that really doesn’t taste all that great. Some of the things I used to eat I can only assume that I ate from habit. I’m eating for taste, now.
~~~~~~~~~
Well, it’s off to bed. I want to take a shower first. But, we’ve been experiencing some drain blockage since Ben came. I realize that I have lost some hair, but most of my hair was less than ½” in length. And it’s longer hair that I’ve been pulling out of the drain. Must be Amy’s from when she was here! :-P
I may get a chance to post tomorrow AM, but if not, I’ll post the news from my meeting with the doctor tomorrow evening.
Keep your fingers crossed….
Checking in
Hello all,
I am sorry I haven't posted/commented in awhile. I've been pretty busy, but I know that's no excuse. I truly hope no one takes it personally when I fail to respond to someone's comments or questions. I've kinda been assuming that this is "Dad's" blog, so I've been solely focusing on him and his "issues" ;-), but according to Dad, this is "our" blog, too, so I'll try to do better. Again, I hope no one takes offense. I know this is a difficult subject/situation for everyone, and we all deal with it in our own way.
You know, its kinda sad (but also not at all surprising) that a situation like a loved-one's cancer may serve to bring family members separated by distance closer together... but I've enjoyed reading comments and hearing from folks I haven't chatted with in awhile (Lorie and Cuz, to name a couple ;-)!), and kind-of meeting people I never really knew before (Nettie, Ronnie). If anyone reading this would like my individual email, who doesn't already have it, please feel free to ask Dad for it. I won't post it here since anyone can read this.... I TRY to respond to emails in a timely manner. I don't know my opinion on Dad's comments about the chemicals possibly running in our family making connections difficult or whatever, but I do know that while I sometimes am TERRIBLE at returning phone calls and emails, it does not mean I do not FEEL connected to my family, and it does not mean I appreciate their well-wishes any less. So thanks to all who have stood by my Dad and Ben and I during this difficult time.
OK, sappy moment aside.... Dad - Good Luck at the doctor's office tomorrow! I know you're starting the third round of chemo, which sucks, but hopefully we'll hear good news about the PET scan!!! Keeping my fingers crossed!
Love,
Amy
I am sorry I haven't posted/commented in awhile. I've been pretty busy, but I know that's no excuse. I truly hope no one takes it personally when I fail to respond to someone's comments or questions. I've kinda been assuming that this is "Dad's" blog, so I've been solely focusing on him and his "issues" ;-), but according to Dad, this is "our" blog, too, so I'll try to do better. Again, I hope no one takes offense. I know this is a difficult subject/situation for everyone, and we all deal with it in our own way.
You know, its kinda sad (but also not at all surprising) that a situation like a loved-one's cancer may serve to bring family members separated by distance closer together... but I've enjoyed reading comments and hearing from folks I haven't chatted with in awhile (Lorie and Cuz, to name a couple ;-)!), and kind-of meeting people I never really knew before (Nettie, Ronnie). If anyone reading this would like my individual email, who doesn't already have it, please feel free to ask Dad for it. I won't post it here since anyone can read this.... I TRY to respond to emails in a timely manner. I don't know my opinion on Dad's comments about the chemicals possibly running in our family making connections difficult or whatever, but I do know that while I sometimes am TERRIBLE at returning phone calls and emails, it does not mean I do not FEEL connected to my family, and it does not mean I appreciate their well-wishes any less. So thanks to all who have stood by my Dad and Ben and I during this difficult time.
OK, sappy moment aside.... Dad - Good Luck at the doctor's office tomorrow! I know you're starting the third round of chemo, which sucks, but hopefully we'll hear good news about the PET scan!!! Keeping my fingers crossed!
Love,
Amy
Monday, October 22, 2007
Just Another Manic Monday
I started out today trying to answer some emails. For some reason I couldn’t seem to concentrate. It couldn’t have anything to do with staying up until almost 2:00AM talking with Ben.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The “office” is rearranged. I still have a little electrical work to do to get it set up. And I still have to hook up some of my electronic toys, stuff that hasn’t been used in a while, like my scanner. I have a big box of photos I want to scan to hard disk.
Then comes the hard part, going through all the paperwork I’ve collected over the years; sorting, filing, and hopefully throwing some away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got the ramp carpeted. I didn’t have time to do the platform. That’ll happen tomorrow. I had to run out to get longer staples.
I got Mousebane to climb the ramp after a couple of treats. He made it down the ramp as well. It looked like he slipped a little but otherwise he made it just fine.
Himmy, on the other hand, wasn’t quite so gullible. He ended up standing along side of the ramp and stretching up to get to the treat. He wanted nothing to do with clawing his way up the ramp. We’ll have to see.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picked up my Dexamethasone today. Tomorrow I start taking it: the day before, the day of, and the day after chemo. I’m already 190 with some edema. I’m not looking forward to swelling up any more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found out that Wendy’s now serves breakfast. And they have biscuits and gravy!
I remember heading North on Saturday mornings and stopping at the Highway Restaurant in Abrams for their biscuits and gravy. They did a mean gravy back then. I don’t know how it is now. But I love good biscuits and gravy.
Some years ago, I had to ask my sister Cuz, who was living in Tennessee at the time, how to make a good Southern gravy. I ended up having to learn how to make gravy all by myself. I found there are several tricks to it.
I’m half-tempted to run out tomorrow morning for breakfast at Wendy’s.
But, I’m off to bed now, before I walk like an Egyptian.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The “office” is rearranged. I still have a little electrical work to do to get it set up. And I still have to hook up some of my electronic toys, stuff that hasn’t been used in a while, like my scanner. I have a big box of photos I want to scan to hard disk.
Then comes the hard part, going through all the paperwork I’ve collected over the years; sorting, filing, and hopefully throwing some away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got the ramp carpeted. I didn’t have time to do the platform. That’ll happen tomorrow. I had to run out to get longer staples.
I got Mousebane to climb the ramp after a couple of treats. He made it down the ramp as well. It looked like he slipped a little but otherwise he made it just fine.
Himmy, on the other hand, wasn’t quite so gullible. He ended up standing along side of the ramp and stretching up to get to the treat. He wanted nothing to do with clawing his way up the ramp. We’ll have to see.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picked up my Dexamethasone today. Tomorrow I start taking it: the day before, the day of, and the day after chemo. I’m already 190 with some edema. I’m not looking forward to swelling up any more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found out that Wendy’s now serves breakfast. And they have biscuits and gravy!
I remember heading North on Saturday mornings and stopping at the Highway Restaurant in Abrams for their biscuits and gravy. They did a mean gravy back then. I don’t know how it is now. But I love good biscuits and gravy.
Some years ago, I had to ask my sister Cuz, who was living in Tennessee at the time, how to make a good Southern gravy. I ended up having to learn how to make gravy all by myself. I found there are several tricks to it.
I’m half-tempted to run out tomorrow morning for breakfast at Wendy’s.
But, I’m off to bed now, before I walk like an Egyptian.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
OK, I Survived….
….the weekend. Just as a reminder, I did say that I might be off line this weekend in my last post. OK, my next to last post.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve been working on cleaning and organizing my “office.” I’ve rearranged the room so that I can put a single-sized airbed down in it if I need to this holiday season for company.
I’ve been working on the cat platform. I’ve gotten the dowels cut to length for the railing, now. Tomorrow I’m hoping to get the carpet laid. I may even get the railing put up. The issue will be drilling the holes correctly AFTER the carpet has been put in place. Otherwise, I’ve got to cut through the carpet to find the holes. I plan to drill them on an angle so as to not take up too much room on the platform itself. Should be interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I haven’t been feeling well since my visit to the hospital for my PET scan. Why is it one seems to GET SICK in the hospital? My nose has been dripping for several days now so I guess I’m not dehydrated!
But the cats seem to be sick, as well, and they haven’t been to the hospital. Mousebane has been drooling, and occasionally tossing his cookies, if he ever ate cookies. I think Himmy has tossed his once or twice, as well.
So, being tired from not feeling well, I’ve been moving slower than normal. And it doesn’t help that my joint pain has increased. Even my fingers are hurting now from the inflammation. Even the incisions for my port were inflamed. RED!!! I almost stopped in to the VLCC on Friday to have someone look at them. I don’t want them getting infected. But it’s from the inside, not the outside, that they’re being affected. Inflammation in the joints, inflammation in the recent incisions. I am a little concerned that they still show red. They should have been healed by now.
So, when I go in Wednesday for my next round of chemo, I’m going to ask to be allowed the use of CAM anti-inflammatory products and other supplements that will help me feel better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was surprised when I actually slept 12 hours last night. That’s the first time I’ve done that in a long, long time. Since I usually try to get a post put together in the morning, that didn’t happen today.
Ben and I then ran over to his place and got the rest of his things and brought them back here. The biggest item was Grandpa John’s desk, but we managed quite well, thank you.
Next, we spent some time putting things together. And, if you know me, you’ll know that I “fixed” a few items that may not have necessarily needed it now, but would have needed it eventually.
We moved my big 5-drawer filing cabinet to the basement and although I would have let him use it, Ben purchased it for his own use. It was an old one that weighed more than twice what Grandpa John’s desk weighed, but was more compact so it was easier to move.
But I had a good time working with Ben.
We were taking a break on my bench in the back of the house, talking and admiring the fall colors. I just had to go in, get my camera, and take a few pictures of the leaves turning colors to send to my daughter in Florida who doesn’t get to see the turning of the seasons very often anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rereading my post, I am reminded of las mujeres (the women) at the Sweatshop, one of my company's accounts that I drove for. The women were impressed that I never walked up the stairs at work; I RAN up the stairs, two or three at a time. Now these are the industrial-type stairs, a floor-and-a-half tall.
Now I can barely walk up the stairs. I guess I’m glad that I didn’t “take up” with any of the ladies, now. They’d certainly be disappointed that I can’t “run up the stairs,” anymore.
Well, I’ve written another 1,000 words tonight that I don’t think I’ll post at this time. I saw the second shift lead person (a gringo) from the Sweatshop at Wal Mart yesterday who completely ignored me when I tried to say “Hi.” Twice.
Now I realize that I look somewhat different now. No hair, no beard and 50 pounds lighter. But I used his name; I knew him. And he knew I knew him. If nothing else, he should have recognized my KYFHO hat!
But it disturbed me that he would ignore someone he once worked with. But it does go together with being a “boss” at the Sweatshop. And I have friends who still work with and for that bastard. They have my sympathies.
I’m going to go to bed now before I write another 1,000 words. :-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve been working on cleaning and organizing my “office.” I’ve rearranged the room so that I can put a single-sized airbed down in it if I need to this holiday season for company.
I’ve been working on the cat platform. I’ve gotten the dowels cut to length for the railing, now. Tomorrow I’m hoping to get the carpet laid. I may even get the railing put up. The issue will be drilling the holes correctly AFTER the carpet has been put in place. Otherwise, I’ve got to cut through the carpet to find the holes. I plan to drill them on an angle so as to not take up too much room on the platform itself. Should be interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I haven’t been feeling well since my visit to the hospital for my PET scan. Why is it one seems to GET SICK in the hospital? My nose has been dripping for several days now so I guess I’m not dehydrated!
But the cats seem to be sick, as well, and they haven’t been to the hospital. Mousebane has been drooling, and occasionally tossing his cookies, if he ever ate cookies. I think Himmy has tossed his once or twice, as well.
So, being tired from not feeling well, I’ve been moving slower than normal. And it doesn’t help that my joint pain has increased. Even my fingers are hurting now from the inflammation. Even the incisions for my port were inflamed. RED!!! I almost stopped in to the VLCC on Friday to have someone look at them. I don’t want them getting infected. But it’s from the inside, not the outside, that they’re being affected. Inflammation in the joints, inflammation in the recent incisions. I am a little concerned that they still show red. They should have been healed by now.
So, when I go in Wednesday for my next round of chemo, I’m going to ask to be allowed the use of CAM anti-inflammatory products and other supplements that will help me feel better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was surprised when I actually slept 12 hours last night. That’s the first time I’ve done that in a long, long time. Since I usually try to get a post put together in the morning, that didn’t happen today.
Ben and I then ran over to his place and got the rest of his things and brought them back here. The biggest item was Grandpa John’s desk, but we managed quite well, thank you.
Next, we spent some time putting things together. And, if you know me, you’ll know that I “fixed” a few items that may not have necessarily needed it now, but would have needed it eventually.
We moved my big 5-drawer filing cabinet to the basement and although I would have let him use it, Ben purchased it for his own use. It was an old one that weighed more than twice what Grandpa John’s desk weighed, but was more compact so it was easier to move.
But I had a good time working with Ben.
We were taking a break on my bench in the back of the house, talking and admiring the fall colors. I just had to go in, get my camera, and take a few pictures of the leaves turning colors to send to my daughter in Florida who doesn’t get to see the turning of the seasons very often anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rereading my post, I am reminded of las mujeres (the women) at the Sweatshop, one of my company's accounts that I drove for. The women were impressed that I never walked up the stairs at work; I RAN up the stairs, two or three at a time. Now these are the industrial-type stairs, a floor-and-a-half tall.
Now I can barely walk up the stairs. I guess I’m glad that I didn’t “take up” with any of the ladies, now. They’d certainly be disappointed that I can’t “run up the stairs,” anymore.
Well, I’ve written another 1,000 words tonight that I don’t think I’ll post at this time. I saw the second shift lead person (a gringo) from the Sweatshop at Wal Mart yesterday who completely ignored me when I tried to say “Hi.” Twice.
Now I realize that I look somewhat different now. No hair, no beard and 50 pounds lighter. But I used his name; I knew him. And he knew I knew him. If nothing else, he should have recognized my KYFHO hat!
But it disturbed me that he would ignore someone he once worked with. But it does go together with being a “boss” at the Sweatshop. And I have friends who still work with and for that bastard. They have my sympathies.
I’m going to go to bed now before I write another 1,000 words. :-)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Cat Pics
To fulfill a request, I am submitting these cat pictures for your viewing pleasure.
The first picture is of Mousebane, the 15-year-old male. This is where I used to find him in the morning, sitting on the kitchen table where he's in close reach for a good scratching!
The second photo is of Himmy. I don't know how old Himmy is; you'll have to ask Benjamin. But, as you can see, Himmy needs a diaper. He is incontinent due to his diabetes.
Himmy gets around OK, but just slowly. He can climb stairs, and hopefully when I get the carpet on it, he'll be able to climb the ramp to watch the wildlife in my backyard out the window.
Good News, I Think!
Just as I sat down to type this, Chris Isaak came on the Windows Media Player singing his song Breaking Apart. (No video, just music.) Talk about memories….. It’s amazing how emotions can be associated with certain songs and just hearing them can bring back those emotions after so long. 'Course I've listened to it several hundred times already....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I may be off-line this weekend. Ben has a few things he needs help moving to make his move complete. And, I’m in the process of rearranging the “office.” So I may need to tear my computer system down to accomplish that. I’m not anticipating that it take that long, but you never know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I owe you an email, I will get to it eventually. I’ve had a couple out there for several weeks now that I’ve been meaning to get to, but it just never seems like the time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Along the same lines, I’m amazed at how fragile I seem to be right now. I was up late last night for some reason, trying to get something done. And I was up early this morning to attend my PET scan.
I got up at 5:30, a half-hour earlier than I usually do and guess who was camped out in the hall. Mousebane! He’s been getting up to greet me when I get up to take my meds at 6:00. I figured getting up early I could beat him into the hall. Nope.
Anyway, I got home about 10:00, did a few things, but my butt was dragging. So I decided to take a quick nap. Went into the living room only to find Mousebane in the recliner, so I grabbed my blanket and curled up on the floor. I was still there when Ben left for work at 1:30. Eventually, I got up and went into the bedroom and slept there for a while. I finally got up at about 4:00.
In the meantime, I decided to try an experiment. I was sleeping when my 12:00 pain med was supposed to be taken. So when I got up I didn’t try to take it. At 4:00 I hadn’t really experienced any more pain than normal. But the normal pain right now is all joint pain. But by my 6:00 meds I did notice some abdominal pain. So I did take my pain meds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You probably won’t believe me, but I finally hooked an antenna system up to the 15” computer monitor with embedded TV tuner that Ben gave me one year for Christmas. Yes, I now have access to the local broadcast TV stations. He got a great deal on it as an “open item.” It had been returned and I now know why. The connector for the antenna is a European PAL connector, not exactly common around here. Leave it to Radio Shack to have something like that.
Tried watching today. It reminded me of the scene in the first Crocodile Dundee where Mick is in the fancy New York hotel, turns on the TV and sees I Love Lucy reruns. Pretty much the same thing that he had seen once upon a time back in the Australian outback.
SSDD.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jeff, aka “Yuppers,” stopped by today. Jeff is distant “shirt-tail” relation to Nancy. but I know him from work. So, despite being off work for over six weeks now, he’s the first co-worker to stop by to see what’s up.
His mom suffers from gastritis, which is what I thought I had before I found out the truth. So we’ve had the “comparing symptoms” conversation.
(Just listening to my music while I type this, but just listen to that guitar riff from Take a Pebble by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer!! It starts about 4 minutes into the video. I'm going to have to learn to play that! I actually hated ELP when I first heard them. My roommate in college, Ron Potts, kept playing them over and over, ‘til one day I got back to the room , turned on the turntable which had the ELP album on, and started playing it before I even thought about it. I was groovin’ away doing homework when Ron got back to the room, wanting to know what I was doing playing music that I hated. :-) )
But Jeff stopped by to see if there was anything he could do to help me with and even left his number. He’s staying with his mother, taking care of her until she can get a room in one of the Reservation facilities.
I did find out I have a new boss. Gone six weeks and already things are changing.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Today, I finished the woodwork on the window shelf for the cats. I just need to fabricate a railing so Himmy has some protection when he turns around on the shelf, and then carpet everything.
I’ve taken a few photos of the project as it stands for you viewing pleasure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My PET scan went better this time. They used the median cubital vein inside the elbow instead of the vein on the back of my hand, which has, I’m told, a knot that makes venipuncture problematic. Last time I ended up with a big purple lump on the back of my hand.
They transport the PET scanner around the state on a special semi. So I’m actually getting scanned in a semi trailer, kinda fitting I thought.
As I was leaving the semi and the scanner tech was walking me out, I was telling him that it seemed easier to eat and that the tumor must be shrinking. Now, he said something that I don’t remember, I was too busy thinking about the implications of what he had said, but he was happy/pleased with the test results and ended his comment with “…but I can’t say anything about it.” But he was happy!
So, I have some good expectations of what I’ll hear on Wednesday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I may be off-line this weekend. Ben has a few things he needs help moving to make his move complete. And, I’m in the process of rearranging the “office.” So I may need to tear my computer system down to accomplish that. I’m not anticipating that it take that long, but you never know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I owe you an email, I will get to it eventually. I’ve had a couple out there for several weeks now that I’ve been meaning to get to, but it just never seems like the time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Along the same lines, I’m amazed at how fragile I seem to be right now. I was up late last night for some reason, trying to get something done. And I was up early this morning to attend my PET scan.
I got up at 5:30, a half-hour earlier than I usually do and guess who was camped out in the hall. Mousebane! He’s been getting up to greet me when I get up to take my meds at 6:00. I figured getting up early I could beat him into the hall. Nope.
Anyway, I got home about 10:00, did a few things, but my butt was dragging. So I decided to take a quick nap. Went into the living room only to find Mousebane in the recliner, so I grabbed my blanket and curled up on the floor. I was still there when Ben left for work at 1:30. Eventually, I got up and went into the bedroom and slept there for a while. I finally got up at about 4:00.
In the meantime, I decided to try an experiment. I was sleeping when my 12:00 pain med was supposed to be taken. So when I got up I didn’t try to take it. At 4:00 I hadn’t really experienced any more pain than normal. But the normal pain right now is all joint pain. But by my 6:00 meds I did notice some abdominal pain. So I did take my pain meds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You probably won’t believe me, but I finally hooked an antenna system up to the 15” computer monitor with embedded TV tuner that Ben gave me one year for Christmas. Yes, I now have access to the local broadcast TV stations. He got a great deal on it as an “open item.” It had been returned and I now know why. The connector for the antenna is a European PAL connector, not exactly common around here. Leave it to Radio Shack to have something like that.
Tried watching today. It reminded me of the scene in the first Crocodile Dundee where Mick is in the fancy New York hotel, turns on the TV and sees I Love Lucy reruns. Pretty much the same thing that he had seen once upon a time back in the Australian outback.
SSDD.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jeff, aka “Yuppers,” stopped by today. Jeff is distant “shirt-tail” relation to Nancy. but I know him from work. So, despite being off work for over six weeks now, he’s the first co-worker to stop by to see what’s up.
His mom suffers from gastritis, which is what I thought I had before I found out the truth. So we’ve had the “comparing symptoms” conversation.
(Just listening to my music while I type this, but just listen to that guitar riff from Take a Pebble by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer!! It starts about 4 minutes into the video. I'm going to have to learn to play that! I actually hated ELP when I first heard them. My roommate in college, Ron Potts, kept playing them over and over, ‘til one day I got back to the room , turned on the turntable which had the ELP album on, and started playing it before I even thought about it. I was groovin’ away doing homework when Ron got back to the room, wanting to know what I was doing playing music that I hated. :-) )
But Jeff stopped by to see if there was anything he could do to help me with and even left his number. He’s staying with his mother, taking care of her until she can get a room in one of the Reservation facilities.
I did find out I have a new boss. Gone six weeks and already things are changing.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Today, I finished the woodwork on the window shelf for the cats. I just need to fabricate a railing so Himmy has some protection when he turns around on the shelf, and then carpet everything.
I’ve taken a few photos of the project as it stands for you viewing pleasure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My PET scan went better this time. They used the median cubital vein inside the elbow instead of the vein on the back of my hand, which has, I’m told, a knot that makes venipuncture problematic. Last time I ended up with a big purple lump on the back of my hand.
They transport the PET scanner around the state on a special semi. So I’m actually getting scanned in a semi trailer, kinda fitting I thought.
As I was leaving the semi and the scanner tech was walking me out, I was telling him that it seemed easier to eat and that the tumor must be shrinking. Now, he said something that I don’t remember, I was too busy thinking about the implications of what he had said, but he was happy/pleased with the test results and ended his comment with “…but I can’t say anything about it.” But he was happy!
So, I have some good expectations of what I’ll hear on Wednesday.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Notes on a Thursday
BW Richardson, posted an intriguing comment about the movie, Fight Club. Although I had seen it before, primarily because of a review of the movie by Tom Ender, I didn’t remember that particular quote.
So, I had to watch it all over again.
So, after taking all the rain-soaked leaves that Amy and I had raked up, and all the rain-soaked leaves that I raked up yesterday, and moving them to the front yard for pickup, and after mowing the lawn, and running a few errands, I decided to sit down and watch the movie again.
It was somewhat intriguing. I can certainly sympathize with Chloe. I can sympathize with the desire to have done something more than to succumb to all the marketing ploys. And, although my favorite genre of “skiffy” (SciFi) is the post-Apocalyptic stories, I don’t know that I would want to be the one to have precipitated the event.
I’ll have to think about it for a few days.
BTW, I clicked on Tom Ender’s name in the Comment Section only to find that he, too, has started a blog. Just something more I’ll have to keep an eye on….. Which reminds me, I haven't told Tom. Should I bring him down, too?
~~~~~~~~~~~
I may even get paid.
It seems that my doctor’s office—the Clinic, not the Medical Center—had sent in the paperwork for my short-term disability. The insurance company just didn’t receive it. So, with everyone working together, I was informed by my HR contact today that the insurance company has everything they need, they’re cutting a check and sending it to my company today, and they’ll send it on to me when it gets there.
I like payday, especially now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomorrow is my PET scan. We’ll see just how much tumor butt we’ve kicked. I probably won’t find out until I go in Wednesday for my next round of chemo.
But I have been feeling somewhat better since I lightened up a little and started eating some things to help me, like cilantro.
Now, I love Mexican food. However, I hate cilantro, especially fresh cilantro. It tastes like soap to me. But, cilantro, along with Vitamin C helps me with one of my “disorders.” I don’t notice any difference yet, but I’m hopeful.
I don’t know if you noticed but I don't worship at the same medical “church” as most folks. I go to the Complimentary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) “church” while most folks, especially doctors, go to the Conventional Medicine (CM) “church.” So right off, we have a difference of views.
I NEED to discuss my CAM beliefs with my CM oncologist. I want to be taking my vitamins and other supplements, especially during the time I’m made “sick” on purpose. As I mentioned before, I wouldn’t have been so fatigued due to the lack of magnesium if I had been allowed to take my supplements. Are we going to start a pool on what the outcome of that discussion is going to be? LOL
Well, I’d best get to bed. Test is in the EARLY AM.
So, I had to watch it all over again.
So, after taking all the rain-soaked leaves that Amy and I had raked up, and all the rain-soaked leaves that I raked up yesterday, and moving them to the front yard for pickup, and after mowing the lawn, and running a few errands, I decided to sit down and watch the movie again.
It was somewhat intriguing. I can certainly sympathize with Chloe. I can sympathize with the desire to have done something more than to succumb to all the marketing ploys. And, although my favorite genre of “skiffy” (SciFi) is the post-Apocalyptic stories, I don’t know that I would want to be the one to have precipitated the event.
I’ll have to think about it for a few days.
BTW, I clicked on Tom Ender’s name in the Comment Section only to find that he, too, has started a blog. Just something more I’ll have to keep an eye on….. Which reminds me, I haven't told Tom. Should I bring him down, too?
~~~~~~~~~~~
I may even get paid.
It seems that my doctor’s office—the Clinic, not the Medical Center—had sent in the paperwork for my short-term disability. The insurance company just didn’t receive it. So, with everyone working together, I was informed by my HR contact today that the insurance company has everything they need, they’re cutting a check and sending it to my company today, and they’ll send it on to me when it gets there.
I like payday, especially now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomorrow is my PET scan. We’ll see just how much tumor butt we’ve kicked. I probably won’t find out until I go in Wednesday for my next round of chemo.
But I have been feeling somewhat better since I lightened up a little and started eating some things to help me, like cilantro.
Now, I love Mexican food. However, I hate cilantro, especially fresh cilantro. It tastes like soap to me. But, cilantro, along with Vitamin C helps me with one of my “disorders.” I don’t notice any difference yet, but I’m hopeful.
I don’t know if you noticed but I don't worship at the same medical “church” as most folks. I go to the Complimentary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) “church” while most folks, especially doctors, go to the Conventional Medicine (CM) “church.” So right off, we have a difference of views.
I NEED to discuss my CAM beliefs with my CM oncologist. I want to be taking my vitamins and other supplements, especially during the time I’m made “sick” on purpose. As I mentioned before, I wouldn’t have been so fatigued due to the lack of magnesium if I had been allowed to take my supplements. Are we going to start a pool on what the outcome of that discussion is going to be? LOL
Well, I’d best get to bed. Test is in the EARLY AM.
I found it!
In reference to comments on my previous picture post, I think this is the shot Dad is referring to where both dogs were on him and he was quite warm. Now, of course, he blames it on the dogs, but look how Dad is dressed! Its Florida in MAY, and he's wearing flannel p.j.'s and a hoodie ;-)! But yes, I agree, the monsters can get really quite warm..... Please excuse the messy house. Again, notice the lack of smile on Dad's face... hhhhmmm, and he tells me he likes my dogs ;-)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I’m in a Hurry
I was 183 this morning, which is good. I dislike those rapid weight gains because they presage rapid weight losses, and those aren’t so good.
I went to bed about 11:30PM last night, taking my meds a little early. Was up at 6:00AM for my meds, and went back to sleep and slept until 9:00AM!!!! How cool was that? And it was fairly decent sleep as well. (Have you noticed I seem to use the phrase “as well” way too much? :-D)
I took Robin’s advice again, today, and got physically active. Thought I’d try to build a little muscle fiber. So, I was up on the roof before lunch using the leaf blower to clean out the gutters. Fastest way to clean them buggers. And I figured that if I were to fall, I wanted to do it before Ben left for work.
Of course, blowing out the gutters meant that I had leaves all over the lawn. So I started blowing and raking. I tried to do mostly raking, but by 4:00, when I still wasn’t done and had only a couple of cherry turnovers for lunch, I decided to take a break, get a meal, and reevaluate my options. I decided since the Greens weren’t here to rake for me that I was going to finish the lawn fastest and easiest by blowing the leaves.
Tomorrow, I’ll take all those leaves we had “stored” in the back when Amy was here and mowing my lawn for me, and move them to the front for pick-up! Then I’ll mow. Hopefully, mowing will go easier than raking, ‘cause I AM SORE! I’m looking at a tub of hot water as soon as I’m done here. If I haven’t fallen asleep yet, I’ll even work in a massage of the Vitamin E lotion before getting to bed early, so I can get up early. Lot’s to do tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of vitamins, apparently magnesium oxide isn’t the best form of magnesium to use for what ails me. And the brand name that the doctor prescribed, Blaine’s MagOx, disintegrates into sand and gravel in the mouth almost as soon as liquid hits it.
Yeah, I went to take my magnesium with my meal so I added my evening meds to the couple of tablets, put all of them in my mouth, took a sip of my Diet (How the heck did that happen? Gotta learn to read the labels…) Peach Tea, and suddenly I had this sand-type sensation in my mouth. Great stuff, that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apparently, magnesium is more important to our health than we normally hear about. We’ll hear about the need for calcium, but the cal/mag ratio is much more important. Calcium is a muscle constrictor; it can cause leg cramps and the like. Magnesium is a muscle relaxant. The body is too tense when calcium is dominant. And magnesium deficiencies can cause fatal heart attacks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found a new-to-me website put together by a health journalist dealing with, surprise, surprise, health issues! I’d read his articles before on LewRockwell.com, and had liked them, but didn’t realize the wealth of info on his site. His name is Bill Sardi and his website is called Knowledge of Health.
You have got to go out and browse. I love the way that he references almost every statement he makes. I even found out why the oncologist didn’t want me taking Vitamin C. Watch this 8 minute video. The visuals can go by pretty quick, but the info is spot on!! I remember a lot of what he references.
This article got my attention. I actually have a bottle in my grubby little hands. I WANNA TAKE IT!!!!
But read some of the other articles on cancer, too.
BTW, read the articles dealing with water. On the left, under Contents, click on the word water and read the two articles about the water you drink. Watch what he has to say about magnesium.
I love this guy! You’ll be seeing a lot more references to this site. Every time I go out there and click on an article I learn something.
Please note, the sources Mr. Sardi references are primarily Conventional Medicine sources that sometimes question what could be considered “Conventional Medical Wisdom.”
Now if I only lived in a free country where I could implement some of the things I’m learning….
Oh well, I’m off to take a bath!
I went to bed about 11:30PM last night, taking my meds a little early. Was up at 6:00AM for my meds, and went back to sleep and slept until 9:00AM!!!! How cool was that? And it was fairly decent sleep as well. (Have you noticed I seem to use the phrase “as well” way too much? :-D)
I took Robin’s advice again, today, and got physically active. Thought I’d try to build a little muscle fiber. So, I was up on the roof before lunch using the leaf blower to clean out the gutters. Fastest way to clean them buggers. And I figured that if I were to fall, I wanted to do it before Ben left for work.
Of course, blowing out the gutters meant that I had leaves all over the lawn. So I started blowing and raking. I tried to do mostly raking, but by 4:00, when I still wasn’t done and had only a couple of cherry turnovers for lunch, I decided to take a break, get a meal, and reevaluate my options. I decided since the Greens weren’t here to rake for me that I was going to finish the lawn fastest and easiest by blowing the leaves.
Tomorrow, I’ll take all those leaves we had “stored” in the back when Amy was here and mowing my lawn for me, and move them to the front for pick-up! Then I’ll mow. Hopefully, mowing will go easier than raking, ‘cause I AM SORE! I’m looking at a tub of hot water as soon as I’m done here. If I haven’t fallen asleep yet, I’ll even work in a massage of the Vitamin E lotion before getting to bed early, so I can get up early. Lot’s to do tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of vitamins, apparently magnesium oxide isn’t the best form of magnesium to use for what ails me. And the brand name that the doctor prescribed, Blaine’s MagOx, disintegrates into sand and gravel in the mouth almost as soon as liquid hits it.
Yeah, I went to take my magnesium with my meal so I added my evening meds to the couple of tablets, put all of them in my mouth, took a sip of my Diet (How the heck did that happen? Gotta learn to read the labels…) Peach Tea, and suddenly I had this sand-type sensation in my mouth. Great stuff, that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apparently, magnesium is more important to our health than we normally hear about. We’ll hear about the need for calcium, but the cal/mag ratio is much more important. Calcium is a muscle constrictor; it can cause leg cramps and the like. Magnesium is a muscle relaxant. The body is too tense when calcium is dominant. And magnesium deficiencies can cause fatal heart attacks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found a new-to-me website put together by a health journalist dealing with, surprise, surprise, health issues! I’d read his articles before on LewRockwell.com, and had liked them, but didn’t realize the wealth of info on his site. His name is Bill Sardi and his website is called Knowledge of Health.
You have got to go out and browse. I love the way that he references almost every statement he makes. I even found out why the oncologist didn’t want me taking Vitamin C. Watch this 8 minute video. The visuals can go by pretty quick, but the info is spot on!! I remember a lot of what he references.
This article got my attention. I actually have a bottle in my grubby little hands. I WANNA TAKE IT!!!!
But read some of the other articles on cancer, too.
BTW, read the articles dealing with water. On the left, under Contents, click on the word water and read the two articles about the water you drink. Watch what he has to say about magnesium.
I love this guy! You’ll be seeing a lot more references to this site. Every time I go out there and click on an article I learn something.
Please note, the sources Mr. Sardi references are primarily Conventional Medicine sources that sometimes question what could be considered “Conventional Medical Wisdom.”
Now if I only lived in a free country where I could implement some of the things I’m learning….
Oh well, I’m off to take a bath!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Hired Help
The thought occurs to me that if I were going to hire help, I’d hire a housekeeper, not a masseuse. I just finished vacuuming the carpets, washing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, building the window shelf for the cats, WAIT! STOP!! I haven’t told you about that yet!
The windows in this house are all relatively high. The cats can’t see out the windows, especially Himmy. So, when Amy was home, we checked into getting something store-bought to help in that regard.
I figured that the kitchen window was probably the best window to use--all my squirrels are visible from there--but it’s three feet off the floor. So we found a shelf that attaches to the windowsill and just kinda hangs there. So how would Himmy make that transition from floor to shelf? I’d have to build something. So, if I’m going to build a ramp or stairs, I might as well build the shelf as well. And I have. It’s all set up except for the ramp and the carpeting. Maybe tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I suppose that it should come as no surprise that I haven’t received a short-term disability check yet. So I checked with my HR contact today. She did some investigation and the results came back that the insurance company is waiting for some info from my doctors. “Who’d a thunk it?” I talked with them and they are "looking into it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As a result of chemotherapy, I am also experiencing some neuropathy or nerve damage. I have occasional numb spots on my hands and feet. At least they aren’t causing me pain, yet, although that may end up being a possibility. So my ears are ringing and my hands and feet are numb, all due to the chemo.
Another side effect (S-FX) of the chemo is a personality change. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it yet or not. But it is there. I’ve been watching it for some time now, wondering how bad it’s going to get and how well I’ll be able to control it. So far so good, but it does pop up occasionally. And that’s on top of being tired, hungry, low or high blood sugar, etc.
And it’s not as if I haven’t gone through this before. (I am going to have to write that story one of these days.) So, if you hear me say or do something that may not sound like me, it may not really be me but the chemicals talking.
And remember, a change in brain chemistry doesn’t mean that the person in possession of the brain is a bad person. (You know whom I’m talking about. I hope things are going well with that situation.)
I stopped spanking my kids when Ben was about ten or so and came up with different ways of disciplining them. I wasn’t big on hitting them in the first place, but one incident brought home the need to change.
Amy had been giving me some “trouble” one day and I spanked her for it, only to find out that Amy, as a Type I diabetic, was experiencing low blood sugar. She wasn’t responsible for her actions at that point in time, her blood chemistry was. I still can feel the shame I felt when we tested her blood and found just how low her blood sugar was. Out of all the things that I’d take back if I could, that one incident tops my list. It wasn’t just the spanking, but how I felt about her for being such a brat at the time. What I was thinking about her was totally unjustified.
It was then that I made the resolution not to hold people responsible for their actions when the problem may be their blood or brain chemistry. So please think kindly of me if I should err. You know that I wouldn’t want to and wouldn’t mean to, but life happens sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~
So here I am, it's after ten and I'm tired. I'd like to got to bed, but I'd just have to get up in two hours to take my pain meds. Then I'll probably have trouble getting back to sleep. So I guess I'll stay up for another hour or so, take my meds a little early, and hope I fall off to sleep quickly.
This makes two posts in one day. Wow!
Hasta luego, amigos!
The windows in this house are all relatively high. The cats can’t see out the windows, especially Himmy. So, when Amy was home, we checked into getting something store-bought to help in that regard.
I figured that the kitchen window was probably the best window to use--all my squirrels are visible from there--but it’s three feet off the floor. So we found a shelf that attaches to the windowsill and just kinda hangs there. So how would Himmy make that transition from floor to shelf? I’d have to build something. So, if I’m going to build a ramp or stairs, I might as well build the shelf as well. And I have. It’s all set up except for the ramp and the carpeting. Maybe tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I suppose that it should come as no surprise that I haven’t received a short-term disability check yet. So I checked with my HR contact today. She did some investigation and the results came back that the insurance company is waiting for some info from my doctors. “Who’d a thunk it?” I talked with them and they are "looking into it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As a result of chemotherapy, I am also experiencing some neuropathy or nerve damage. I have occasional numb spots on my hands and feet. At least they aren’t causing me pain, yet, although that may end up being a possibility. So my ears are ringing and my hands and feet are numb, all due to the chemo.
Another side effect (S-FX) of the chemo is a personality change. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it yet or not. But it is there. I’ve been watching it for some time now, wondering how bad it’s going to get and how well I’ll be able to control it. So far so good, but it does pop up occasionally. And that’s on top of being tired, hungry, low or high blood sugar, etc.
And it’s not as if I haven’t gone through this before. (I am going to have to write that story one of these days.) So, if you hear me say or do something that may not sound like me, it may not really be me but the chemicals talking.
And remember, a change in brain chemistry doesn’t mean that the person in possession of the brain is a bad person. (You know whom I’m talking about. I hope things are going well with that situation.)
I stopped spanking my kids when Ben was about ten or so and came up with different ways of disciplining them. I wasn’t big on hitting them in the first place, but one incident brought home the need to change.
Amy had been giving me some “trouble” one day and I spanked her for it, only to find out that Amy, as a Type I diabetic, was experiencing low blood sugar. She wasn’t responsible for her actions at that point in time, her blood chemistry was. I still can feel the shame I felt when we tested her blood and found just how low her blood sugar was. Out of all the things that I’d take back if I could, that one incident tops my list. It wasn’t just the spanking, but how I felt about her for being such a brat at the time. What I was thinking about her was totally unjustified.
It was then that I made the resolution not to hold people responsible for their actions when the problem may be their blood or brain chemistry. So please think kindly of me if I should err. You know that I wouldn’t want to and wouldn’t mean to, but life happens sometimes.
~~~~~~~~~~
So here I am, it's after ten and I'm tired. I'd like to got to bed, but I'd just have to get up in two hours to take my pain meds. Then I'll probably have trouble getting back to sleep. So I guess I'll stay up for another hour or so, take my meds a little early, and hope I fall off to sleep quickly.
This makes two posts in one day. Wow!
Hasta luego, amigos!
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