"Sticky" Schedule

Last Updated: 17 April 2008, 11:10PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since I find that this blog is being visited by the public-at-large, allow me to explain just a bit. I'm a 56-year-old esophageal cancer sufferer. I have been diagnosed as having “Invasive adenocarcinoma of the esophagus with metastasis to stomach and lymph nodes.” I've had 5 rounds of chemotherapy and have started radiation therapy.

This blog was started to keep friends and family updated as to what is going on in my life, how I feel, when my treatments are, etc.

It is also a diary, where I try to get rid of my frustrations by pouring my heart out into these "pages." So, if you choose to read a little, be prepared for some "belly-aching." Now, how's that for a pun? Especially since I have a tumor in my stomach?

If you got here from a link on Sunni Maravillosa's web site, you won't find a scholarly discourse on Liberty and Freedom. However, since I do believe in Liberty and Freedom, my beliefs do come out in my posts, as evidenced by the link at the bottom of this post. As I said, this is primarily a diary of my life. But feel free to stick aound and browse to your heart's content, if you have the time.

This schedule will remain at the top of my blog until further notice. Any NEW POSTS will appear directly below this one. Claro?

~~~~~~~~
Notes
~~~~~~~~
My Short Term Disability paperwork came back stating that they don't want me working at all. So I won't be working until after the surgery.

~~~~~~~~~
SCHEDULE
~~~~~~~~~
3/21/08 - 07:15AM I'm hoping that I go in for my last PET Scan today.

3/24/08 - 02:20PM Lab blood tests.

3/24/08 - 03:00PM Consult with Dr. Himmy about lab results and PET Scan results. I should find out what is in my future at the same time.

Since I'm not working, I deleted my work schedule for now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MEDS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pain Meds Schedule:

Packer Candy – PC; Time Released – TR; Short Term - ST
Naproxen Sodium - NS

02 AM: PC-ST 5 mg.
06 AM: PC-ST 5 mg.
08 AM: NS 220 mg.
10 AM: PC-TR 20 mg, PC-ST 5 mg.
02 PM: PC-ST 5 mg.
06 PM: PC-ST 5 mg.
08 PM: NS 220 mg.
10 PM: PC-TR 20 mg, PC-ST 5 mg.None.

Blood Pressure:

• Enalapril
• Diltiazem

Anti-Cancer:

Round 1

• Cisplatin
• Docetaxel
• Fluorouracil

Round 2

• Carboplatin
• Camptosar

Anti-Nausea:

• Aprepitant, anti-nausea.
• Aloxi, anti-emetic, IV use only!

Others, or as Needed:

• Protonix, proton-pump inhibitor.
• Dexamethasone, steroid to reduce fluid retention.
• Lomotil (Lonox), anti-diarrhea.
• Mannitol, diuretic/laxative?
• Neulasta, Granulocyte colony-stimulating factor
• Lovenox, anticoagulant.
• Warfarin, anticoagulant.
• Mobic, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory.

~~~~~~~~~
Need more info here, let me know, OK?
~~~~~~~~~

DPC - De Pere Clinic
VLCC - Vince Lombardi Cancer Center.
ABCMC - Aurora BayCare Medical Center
EGD - EsophagoGastroDuodenoscopy

"As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith

Update and Obituary

Hello all,

I wanted to let everyone know that Dad's obituary ran in today's Green Bay Press Gazette. The link to the on-line obit is:
http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080504/GPG010301/805040782/1212

Ben and I and Dad's brother Bill and his wife Julie said our final goodbyes to Dad's body on Friday and watched him be loaded into the cremation retort. We included many sentimental items in the cremation, including photos of loved ones, a few knives, feathers, a choker that belonged to his best friend Rawley before his own passing, and a few other requested items. Ben and I also decided to place a lock of each of our hair into Dad's hands, so he was clutching a part of each of us as he was cremated. I think Dad would have really liked the uniqueness of this whole thing ;-). Ben and I picked up his ashes on Saturday. So his earthly vessle is now no more.

We also wanted to let everyone know that we have decided to have the memorial celebration this coming Saturday, May 10, 2008, from 3:00 pm to 10:00 pm. (People can come and leave as desired). It will be at Dad's home. Please call Dad's phone number or Blaney Funeral Home at 920-494-7447 for specifics, if you would like to attend. All family, friends and acquaintances are welcome. We will have Dad's favorite Mexican food catered, but please bring your favorite dish, if you are willing, so that we can have a variety of food to choose from. Desserts, side dishes, good ole Wisconsin comfort food, are all welcome. Also, because we aren't big drinkers and we have no idea what people's preferences are, this will be a "bring you own booze" event. It just makes life easier ;-).

That's all for now,

Amy

A memorial link.

H. Ben's Danish brother-in-law posted a touching memorial on his blog this morning.

Help me feel the joy through the pain

Hello all,

I want to sincerely thank everyone who has stood by my father, Ben and I through this very difficult time. You are all loved dearly by my father, and for that reason alone you are very important to me. I know one of the hardest things for Dad to handle throughout his illness was his knowledge that it was so hurting the ones who love him, to see him suffer and struggle and hurt. It truly pained him to know that his suffering was hurting us, but I hope that also means that he felt very loved, respected, and valued by so many.

Like Ben, I cannot really imagine my world without him. I am trying to keep thinking of all the good in him, all the good he instilled in me, but right now all I feel is hurt. There is a gaping hole inside of me that I'm sure will never heal. Many wise people have told me it will, but at this moment, it is so hard to believe.

Thank you all so very much for your love and support. No matter what Ben and I have been feeling in this ordeal, we have NEVER felt alone because of all of you who love my father.

Amy Malliett

So it goes.

I post this message from a house filled with grieving people. My father passed at 4:43 this morning. I can see him from where I sit.

I can't conceive of a world without him, and yet, here it is, unbidden and unwanted.

Another Update

Here's another update, in the spirit of keeing everyone informed as much as possible. Dad had more visitors this afternoon. His brother Bill, Bill' s wife Julie, and Dad's mother Marie all visited with Dad. While Dad was in and out of consciousness, he seemed to enjoy the company. Of course, I know it was a difficult shock for Bill, Julie, and Marie to see Dad in this condition because things are progressing much faster than anyone expected.

Of course, Dad has been joking around whenever he was awake, including "petting" Ben's cats with the grabber-claw thing he requested I get him (So that he can pick things up from afar from a laying-down position). He has also been stubborn whenever the opportunity arises. So, he's very much still himself ;-).

He has been VERY drowsy the last two days, and that seems to be getting worse. It is due to both/either 1) the pain medication he is on, and 2) the deterioration of his liver. When the liver stops functioning, it makes one's blood composition wacky, which will affect the functioning of one's brain. Dad's nurses said this may be beginning to happen. A hospice nurse will be here again tomorrow, so we may know more then.

I will briefly go back to Tampa from Tues - Wed, but I plan to turn right around and come back, given the current situation.

We will do our best to continue keeping everyone updated. If anyone wants to email me directly, my email is the same as Dad's, except that it's my name instead of his. So, that would be amy.m @ "our last name here" .com

If anyone would like my phone number, email me and I will provide it that way.

xoxox,

Amy

Home and entertaining.

Dad made it back from the hospital, but he's been very tried and mostly bedridden. He has been reading, and enjoying, the comments on the blog, but has not felt up to posting thus far.

Medically, things are not going well. His abdomen is still distended from fluid build-up discharged by the liver, and he was and still may be bleeding into his stood and urine. He is, however, on a pretty potent mix of drugs, so there shouldn't be much discomfort.

I don't recall off hand if Dad ever established just who the Stevens clan was for his blog audience; in case he didn't, I'll summarize by saying that they have been dear friends of his for many years. Many members of this family have been keeping Dad company this weekend (and for months before that, truth be told), and doing a very good job of it. It's a bit strange for me to wake up to the sound of laughter coming from Dad's room, but I can't imagine a scenario that would be more pleasant for Dad. Considering that my mother and stepfather have been visiting as well, this has made the house more crowded than I've ever seen before!

New Update

Hi All,

Well, as I'm sure you've imagined, Dad is still in the hospital. They MAY let him go home today, but that remains to be seen. They had to give him more blood on Tuesday, so they have transfused him twice. They are not really sure where he is bleeding.

I hate to say it, but they have said the dreaded word, "hospice." They said it is time to start discussing that, and that when they discharge him, it will most likely be with hospice services set up to come to the house once a day.

I spoke with the nurse last night, and she said Dad's Oncologist said "it looks like things are moving faster than projected," meaning faster than that 3 - 6 month time line they gave us one month ago. BUT, it may also be just a bump in the road and he may rally and improve again, so it remains to be seen.

Once again, he really appreciated your comments to the last post. I am flying to Green Bay on Saturday, and will stay through Monday evening. We'll be able to post more frequently then, cause I can type while Dad talks ;-).

xoxox,

Amy

Update on Dad's Hospital Stay

Hello all,

I spoke with Dad a couple times today. He is not being discharged today, because of his severe pain issues. They want that to be under control before they let him go home. They are trying multiple tactics, and will go with what works the best.

I read the comments from Ben-my brother-'s post to Dad, and he seemed cheered by your thoughts and wishes. So, keep commenting, and Ben and/or myself will make sure Dad hears you thoughts. If you want to talk to him, you can call (920) 288-4125 and ask for room #145. That will get you his room.

I'll warn you, though.... Dad is on morphine ;-)!!! Now, for someone like Dad, who has never really done drugs, and who has never been a huge drinker, morphine is kind of a beast for him. When I spoke to him, he was grumpy about how the drugs are making him lose his train of thought, mid-sentence. I reminded him that it was normal, and that he can blame the drugs, not himself or his head, but I don't know if that helped much. He does not like being in this situation, and who can blame him.

Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, and well-wishes.

Amy

I have some unfortunate news.

I'm blogging in Dad's place today because he's been admitted to the hospital. He is doing just fine, though.

The problems he's been having came to a head last night with severe nausea and light bleeding from the nose and anus. We summoned paramedics, and not long after we learned from the ER doc that he seems to have lost some blood. Not a lot, but enough to cause problems.

His admitting physician explained that the liver plays a role in regulating the thickness of a person's blood. Since Dad has some cancer on or at least near his liver, its functionality might be impaired somewhat, causing the thickness of his blood to vary. That, combined with the blood thinners he's been taking since the episode with the clots, resulted in blood that was way too thin, which in turn facilitated the bleeding.

They are going to do a CT scan to determine if they need to do any plumbing work on his kidney, give him some blood (A- it turns out, which is apparently rare), and of course, adjust the dosage of his blood thinners.

Right now, they expect him to be out as early as tomorrow.

Jaws Clenched Tight!

Do they happen to have an abbreviation for something that would mean something like “jaws clenched tight” as in trying to keep from throwing up. Or what was it Sunni called it, “blapping?”

I’ve been sick for several days. I recently doubled up on my long term and my short-term pain meds and it helps a bit better, but not enough. And the meds cause constipation, which cause a whole bunch of problems all by themselves.

So, tonight I got to experience a whole lotta jaw clenching although I had nothing in my stomach to toss.

I called the doc and he recommended Milk of Magnesia for the constipation. And I’m to double up on the long term, 40mg twice a day. And since I had already doubled the short term meds, I was to double them again up to every three hours if necessary.

I was also directed to get something else for the nausea/vomiting but before I could document this, I received a phone call that caused me to forget that part of my instructions. So, I don’t remember anything else about what I’m supposed to do.

One thing I need to tell the doc is I have a nose bleed. It’s not your normal everyday nosebleed. The left side is bleeding slowly and building up a big blood clot. I finally was able to expel a clot that was the size of my little finger up to the first joint in three easy installments! :-) But if something like that is going on in my nose, what’s going on in the rest of my body?

Hopefully I’ll remember more before Ben gets home.

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!

Down This Road Again

All in all, I’d much rather roll over and try to get back to sleep. But I had promised you a post that I will not be able to keep my promise on. Sorry! The least I could do is explain my failure.

I don’t know if you noticed, I’ve posted my pain meds schedule in the “Sticky Scheduler.” So if I mention that if I forgot to take my 8AM NS, my naproxen sodium, you’ll know where it fits into the pain med schedule.

Or if I mention that I took an extra ST-ST 5mg at 6PM, you’ll be able to figure out how it fits into the overall scheme of pain relief.

~~~~~~~~~

I’ve been sick all day. First it was one thing that eventually, if only partially, resolved itself, although I did not take my 8AM NS because I thought it might be causing stomach pain. I did take my 10AM meds normally. My first issue resolved itself somewhat between 10AM and Noon.

But, and I don’t know if they’re related, the second issue, extreme pain in the back, manifested itself and I spent all afternoon trying to resolve that issue.

I ended up taking my 8PM NS early at 6PM, but two hours early after missing it for 10 hours isn’t a problem. And I needed it; my hip joint was really starting to hurt. But I had talked to one of those 24 Hour Health Care Nurses about the first issue and her point was I shouldn’t have to suffer any pain at all.

So, hurting like I was, I took an extra PC-ST 5mg at 6PM. So that meant that I took 10mg of fast acting pain relief. And if it helped, I couldn’t tell. Maybe it helped me sleep a bit, but not so’s I could tell.

So, I have had this second issue before; I just don’t remember if I ever knew what the problem was. And, I have had more of this issue lately, just not as bad as today. I’d sure like to know what is going on.

~~~~~~~~~

On another front, my crutches are irritating my underarms. I have a “scrape” under the left arm, and a skin tag that is extremely irritated and sore under the right arm. Makes me not want to use the crutches.

~~~~~~~~~

It has taken me over an hour to put this little bit of a post together. It shouldn’t be an issue when I’m feeling well, but when I’m feeling sick, it takes me a while to think about and put the proper words together. So that’s why I didn’t attempt anything intellectual today. And I don’t know when I can expect to feel better, so I won’t even try to make that promise again.

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!

Three More Tattoos

Boy, am I adding to my list of tattoos. I believe that these are rose buds, as well, but with all the other ink on my skin I’ll have to wait until I can take a bath and clean the sites.

And I don’t know if I can post pictures of these tats as close as they are to body parts that most Americans say they have problems with. I might end up becoming a sex offender and have to get registered and put on a list. I wonder if just talking about it means that I am violating any laws. Hmmmm!

Still hurtin’, still drowsy, and they have allowed me to take my pain meds whenever I want now. For example, I went out to take care of business this AM and to pick up a few things. I got home pretty tuckered and decided to lie down and catch a few z’s. I had taken my meds at 10:00 and was waiting until 2:00 to take more. But laying there made my kidneys seem to hurt, spoiling a perfectly good nap. So, at noon, I took another pill, hoping that it would allow me to take my nap. If I could take a double dose at 2:00, why couldn’t I take one at noon and one at 2:00? Apparently, it doesn’t hurt a thing except make me drowsy.

Speaking of drowsy, it’s kinda funny. I’ll be laying here, reading an article online, with my finger poised over the mouse button, when I’ll awake with a start and notice that the sound that woke me up was the scroll bar hitting the end of its range. So, I back up and start reading the article from the last point I can remember. And yet I have trouble falling asleep.

Well, I have nothing planned for tomorrow, so there’s a couple of posts I want to get written. And since it takes me so long to do the thinking, the typing, and the proofreading that I’ll probably need all day.

So, there’s an email that I want to get done tonight, so I’m going to end this one right here. No, right here! NO, RIGHT HERE!!

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero.

And A Belated Happy Birthday…

…to the last of the Aries birthdays in the family. Since it was yesterday, and I did post yesterday, I should have mentioned it. I am sorry I forgot, and offer my humblest apologies.

~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know what is going on with me. I have been having trouble sleeping despite taking plenty of Valerian Root and melatonin. I took 12 mg of melatonin last night and didn’t fall asleep until some time well after 2:00AM. Usually that would put me right out! Then I drifted in and out of slumber all through the rest of the night. I didn’t finally start to get some serious sleep until after my 10:00AM meds. I’m wondering if the pain is still an issue, or if the little caffeine contained in the green tea is causing all the problems.

I did the ‘fever with no sweats’ vs. the ‘sweats with no fever’ thing last night so I tried the Aleve (naproxen sodium) that the doctor recommended. Now, the naproxen is an NSAID so I can't say that I wasn't curious to find out what would happen. I got up this AM after taking the naproxen once, ONCE, and found that most of the pain in my hip joint WENT AWAY!!! I could walk almost normal without any aids and with very little pain. What’s up with that? The meloxicam NSAID that my PCP prescribed didn’t seem to help, much at all but plain ol’ naproxen let me have my joint back. The only issue is that I have to be very careful with my stomach and any NSAIDS.

Speaking of stomachs, I haven’t had much experience with constipation, until now. All of the recent pain meds have overpowered my gastrointestinal tract leaving me with another type of pain - constipation. The chemotherapy almost always guaranteed having diarrhea so my experience level with constipation is very low. The Dulcolax hasn’t been working so I needed to try a Fleet enema. That’s what I have been reduced to, giving myself enemas! It helped but I can tell that more attention is needed in this area. It causes problems with appetite and eating.

The fever/sweats have contributed as well. Although I try to stay hydrated, I lose a lot of moisture through the skin. That means that I don’t have it in the intestinal tract to lubricate things. I’m still not sure how I’m going to handle this on a regular basis. I have gone back to the sugar-free Benefiber chewables. That should help a bit. But as I said, I’m not sure what I need to do.

So, I have to get prepared for a Social Security interview tomorrow so I’m going to cut this short tonight.

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!

Back To Work

No, not me! Ben!

I like spending time with my son—with ALL my kids really—seeing as how I only have two that are really, truly mine. But Amy isn’t here right now. So, if I don’t get too much posted on the weekends, I hope that you’ll understand.

Now there are other things that I’d rather be doing with Ben—snorkeling comes to mind—but if watching TV shows like we did in the old days are all I can manage right now, then that’s what I’ll do. Now, I also don’t want to monopolize his usual one day off per week—this weekend was unusual for him for now—especially if he has other things to do, so, just like my side effects, it can get to be a balancing act. But thankfully, we haven’t gotten to that point yet.

~~~~~~~~~

Reading my usual sites I ran across an interesting article from Bill St. Clair over at End The War On Freedom. With a title like that can you understand why I just might like this site? It was funny that the hospital blocked his site due to weapons!! LOL

Anyway, he came up with an interesting article this morning entitled “Cancer Therapy Without Side Effects Nearing Trials.” Guaranteed to get me to read it. No Side Effects!!!!!

It seems that nanoparticles can be targeted specifically on cancer cells, then radio frequency wavelengths can be run through the body, causing the particles to heat up, causing the cancer cells to heat up, killing them, but not the healthy cells around them!

Now, right off the top of my head, I’d say that this has a very good chance of working if they can get the cancer cells sufficiently targeted. So, there is hope for you if you ever develop cancer in the not too distant future.

However, being the pessimist that I am, am I to understand that the pharmaceutical industry is going to stand by and let someone start killing off cancer cells without them getting a big piece of the pie? And the two organizations who can do this for them are the FDA and the AMA. This scenario is almost identical to the one that lead to the suppression of the Royal Raymond Rife technology that was killing cancer way back in the 1940s!

BTW, I recently ran across an interesting article entitled “What the American Medical Association hopes you never learn about its true history.” Morris Fishbein, the guy who brought Rife to his knees, features prominently in the story.

~~~~~~~~~

Now, I’m not here intentionally spying on you, but I do like to know who is visiting my blog, what they are looking for, and where they are located. So I have installed a program called SiteMeter. It has led me to learn all sorts of things.

For example, I would have learned that Sunni Maravillosa—see my links—had put a link on her page to let people come visit me via my SiteMeter reports. Fortunately, I think I noticed the link on her page before I had checked SiteMeter, though.

Now, I end up having to make some logical “guesses” on occasion. I happen to have a friend down towards Madison whom I haven’t told yet about my condition. But we also have several friends in common. So when I started getting hits from the Madison area by someone using a news aggregator, I kinda figured it was him. Not for sure yet, just an educated guess.

So I was kinda surprised when I started getting hits from another blogging type of site, so I had to “checka out” as Rawley used to say.

If you recall a few days ago I had mentioned pulling together all the blogs that are talking about the big “C” and posting it somewhere. But as someone--it may even be the Bible--said, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” Someone’s already did a great job of pulling these blogs together. I found out when I started getting hits linked to me from that site.

The site is called Blogged.com, and here’s my page on the site. So, if looking for more cancer blogs or almost any other type of blog is your thing, head on over and see what can be found.

One of the things I noticed, being a former QA kinda guy, is they have a rating system for each blog. And my rating right now is 8.3 out of 10. Now the editor of Blogged.com is the only one who has rated me so far. But, since he sees a lot of these blogs, I thought that an 83% was pretty good. Maybe it’s so low ‘cause I use words like “kinda.”

Now, I’m not going to try to find out what the criteria for a good blog are and go nuts trying to hit a perfect 10. I have too many other things to do. But Amy, it looks like we’ve narrowed your focus a bit! :-P

~~~~~~~~~

I have totally switched over to just one pain med with two different versions: a time released, and a short acting version. It took me a while to get a control system in place so I could remember to take my meds when I needed them, especially in the middle of the night. If I can’t get comfortable due to the pain, then I can’t sleep, and I end up dragging all day. And dragging around all day in pain is no fun at all.

After taking some time to get used to the meds I’ve come to the conclusion that the meds aren’t doing the job. The pain in the hip joint doesn’t respond to the new meds as well as the liver pain. But I still have trouble getting comfortable at night in bed and end up tossing and turning all night.

So, I called the Clinic today and described my situation. I got a call back informing me that my “label directions” have changed. First I’m to try doubling the time-released meds and see how that works. If that doesn’t help enough, then I’m to try doubling the short acting meds and even start dosing every three hours if necessary. Without the acetaminophen, that shouldn’t be an issue. And I should get used to the dose fairly quickly so I won’t be running around all tuckered out.

I just checked my temp and found that I’m at 100.4 degrees. Now, just by feeling my forehead I wouldn’t have guessed that it was that high. Skin temp doesn't always match internal temps. And I have checked it on occasion with a mercury-filled glass thermometer just to double check. And later tonight, my temp will be fine, but I’ll be sweating “like a stuck pig,” as they sometimes say around here. But, I’m to take naproxen sodium for that condition. I’m curious to see how that works. And it’s also an NSAID. Maybe it’ll help the hip and the shoulder.

So, I’m going to put this issue of my blog “to bed” now, pull together the garbage to go out, and wait breathlessly for Ben to come home.

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!

And remember, "As a juror, I will exercise my 1000-year-old duty to arrive at a verdict, not just on the basis of the facts of a particular case, or instructions I am given, but through my power to reason, my knowledge of the Bill of Rights, and my individual conscience. When needful, I will judge the law itself." -L. Neil Smith

It’s The Weekend!

And today happens to be one of those rare Saturdays that Ben doesn’t have to work. So, I slept in until late. This evening, when I was planning on updating this, Ben and I have been watching Doctor Who episodes. So, my apologies.

I have to be more careful with my pain med doses. I had my alarm set for 4AM to take my pain meds. But when the alarm went off, I guess I forgot to take my meds. So, 5:30 I wake up, wondering why I’m hurting. Checked the pillbox and found my 4AM meds, duh!

So, between not taking them because I don’t have them handy last night—I dug out a small portable pillbox—and not taking them when the alarm goes off—I’m going to have to work on that—I haven’t had a great day. And I do need to take these meds every four hours.

So, I may get to updating more substantively tomorrow. I hope!

Kunolunkwa y te quiero!

Too Many Things…

…to talk about, tonight, so I’m just going to bring up one thing tonight. I’ll see if I can get to the rest of them tomorrow.

My brother, Bill, and his lovely wife, Julie, who will be celebrating 12 years of wedded bliss very soon, had invited me to dinner on Thursday night. While they were at it, they invited Julie’s sister, Ellen’s, family, Julie’s parents, and my mother as well. Julie’s sister happens to have two yonkers, a boy and a girl! Can you tell where this is going?

I tried to take some back roads that I haven’t been on in years and what with the darkness, the rain, and the unfamiliarity I got turned around. So I headed over to roads that I knew better and did just fine.

Doing so, however, took me past the roadside location where my best friend died 9 years ago. I guess I’m never going to give up on that, huh? So, I took my hat off as I drove by. The guy that had been riding my bumper all the way from town decided to back off and give me some room for some reason.

It was nice to see Julie’s folks. I had thought of stopping by their house on the way down, only to find out from talking with them that they had sold that place and had moved closer to the grandkids. Sometimes memories work against you!

Julie had cooked a great meal—I wasn’t sure that Bill would tell you, Julie, so I had to put it here—and I found myself wishing I could have eaten a lot more. But it was nice to see how most everyone pitched in to help get it on the table. It was primarily Italian so it had plenty of flavors! I could taste it even with my limping taste buds. At the end of the meal, she served desert and that’s when I was able to start teasing the kids.

Michael is 6-years-old and I hadn’t seen him since Lorie, Tayler, and Robin had last been here in 2002, I believe. You can’t say they grow up fast if you don’t see them for almost six years! They’re just here.

But Michael seems like a great kid, great sense of humor, and full of life.

Gabrielle—I hope I’m spelling this right since I didn’t take notes—was a sweet young lady. I was told that when she found out that she’d be meeting uncle Bill’s brother, she decided against the jeans and t-shirt and went with a skirt and blouse. This at almost 4-years-old!

She had been rather shy so we played it cool for a while. But as I said, at desert, I thought I’d make my move.

I have a pen/stylus for my HP iPAQ that contains a laser pointer and a small flashlight. So, while Gabrielle was settling in to eat her custard pie, I pointed the laser beam at her piece of pie. She stopped, fork poised in the air, and watched what was transpiring.

Now, Michael was sitting right alongside of her and figured it out immediately and enjoys my eternal gratitude for not saying anything about what I was doing. I said he was a good kid!

So, after watching the dot on the pie, and listening to comments from the folks around her for awhile, she went off into the kitchen to talk to Aunt Julie about the “red dot” that was on her pie. Julie, having no idea what was going on had to come back into the dining room to see what was going on. You see, B&J live in an old farmhouse that, in the fall, gets an influx of those Asian beetles that look like ladybugs but stink to high heaven when squished. They wait until spring then, if they survived the eradication and cleaning efforts, to come out of hibernation and make everyone’s life interesting. And we happened to have one flitting around the chandelier earlier in the evening.

But, Julie’s quick, and figured it out real fast what I was up to. So, we had Gabrielle sitting in front of her pie, while her father would “catch” the red dot off her pie and stick it in his mouth to “eat” it. It was hilarious! I looked up and down the table at all the smiles that were going on over my antics, realizing that I like smiles! And these folks know about how I love kids.

I finally got an attack of conscience and had to let her know that it was Uncle Bill’s brother that was messing with her and let her play with the laser pointer for a while.

All and all, a memorable evening.

I don’t know if they could tell that I was really tired, because I hardly moved from my chair and I should have been more physical with the kids.

But, it was time for the cameras to come out and I did get a couple of pictures. You should be able to tell from the pictures that I too that I wasn’t feeling too well because I usually do better.

PHOTOS
Michael is the subject of the first photo, so intent on getting a tiny RC car working.

Gabrielle is the focus of the second photo, sitting in Aunt Julie’s lap, while mom, Ellen, and brother, Michael, look on. Look at those eyes! Don't they just break your heart?

The third photo has that guy from the streets on the left--how does he keep getting into my photos anyway--then my mom, brother Bill, and then Julie!

Now, the fourth photo shows Gabrielle's proud mom, Ellen, along with that street guy again. I'm sorry that it's a little blurry, but that sometimes happens when somone uses cameras they're not used to. As you can probably tell, Ellen is a bon vivant, otherwise known as a fun-loving person. And she's a good listener, too!

Oleander Soup????

Hey, does anyone have any oleander lying around their yard that they want to get rid of or cut back on? I’m looking for some. I ran across some references that indicate that oleander soup is useful in treating cancer.

The major drawback to this plan is that the oleander plant is poisonous!

Now, most folks will tell you that the entire plant is poisonous whether fresh, dried or boiled. Then, there are other folks who will tell you that boiling the plant destroys the neurotoxins and the rest of the mixture is actually beneficial to the human body.

It seems that Turks, among other ancient peoples, historically have used the plant for medicine, including cancer treatment. You can read about the use of the plant here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

The problem with the use of oleander as a medicine goes back to the Turkish doctor who tried to bring this medicine to the world. Unfamiliar with governments, especially the US government, he actually told the truth about what he was trying to do. Normally I would think that would be a good thing, but not when dealing with governments.

Once the FDA got wind that the drug that was being made from the oleander plant was an anti-cancer drug, no stone was left unturned trying to keep it from the public.

You may think that the governmental agencies like the FDA are here to protect and serve you. Yeah, just like the police are here to protect and serve you. It reminds me of when, as a college student, I tried to tell my mother that Richard M. Nixon was guilty of a variety of crimes. She just couldn’t believe that the President of the United States would actually break the laws of this country.

I lost a good online friend who couldn’t believe my claim that the US government was actively involved in killing its citizens in this day and age. You see, the governmental agencies have rules that they couldn’t conceive of breaking even if it meant that US citizens would die. If you don’t save them when it is within your power to do so, that’s as good as murder to me.

Take the FDA for example. There are drugs out there that have been approved in quite a few “civilized” countries and that have proven themselves safe and effective. But here in the states, they’ve only started undergoing trials.

Now, there are patients in this country who are terminal, who only have 3 to 6 months to live, that these drugs could, in all likelihood, save from a premature death. Despite the fact that they are approved for use in other countries and are passing the tests in this country, the FDA won’t allow American citizens to take those “foreign” drugs. Even if it means that they DIE!

Now, the patient could jump on a plane to whatever is the closest country utilizing those drugs to seek treatment, if they have the money. But how many can do that?

Now, if you and I are walking down the road and see someone who is drowning in the river next to the road and I refuse to pull that person from the water, have I committed a crime? How about if I prevent you from helping that person? In either case, you wouldn’t suggest that I was “protecting and serving” my fellow man by allowing him to drown. So how is it you think that the FDA is protecting and serving you?

So, the FDA has restricted any sales of oleander-based “nutritional supplements” because one doctor told the truth as he saw it when he said that the plant could treat cancer. Which leave me to the mercies of one company in Honduras, who sells something similar for quite a chunk of change. Or, I’m left with the alternative of seeking the plants to make my own. Assuming that I am going to do this, how are they protecting me now? I won’t have the benefit of some company’s Quality Control policies and procedures. I’m out there on my own! Gee, thanks, FDA!

~~~~~~~~~

Last night I awakened rather abruptly coughing my lungs out. Or, to be more specific, I was coughing stomach contents out of my lungs. Yup, I had some back up due to the gas that I mention every now and again, and it went down the wrong pipe. It’s not exactly a nice way of waking let me assure you. I’m going to have to start taking my nighttime meds even earlier it looks like so I don’t have anything on my stomach when I go to sleep. It would help if I digested things faster too!

~~~~~~~~~

Since the oleander is a subtropical plant there should be quite a few in Florida. Amy, aren’t those tall shrubs against your back wall oleanders? It would be a good idea to keep the dogs away from them.

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!

"Pain, Or Something Like It….

...has got a hold on me." Recognize the lyrics to that old Kenny Rogers song?

I slept last night right up ‘til noon today. But it wasn’t an undisturbed sleep. My liver, hip joint, and right shoulder kept waking me up. I did the old sweating number a couple of times, as well, which also woke me up.

But I did learn something last night as well. A while back, I felt too exhausted to get out of bed to get to my pain meds, so I brought my pain meds to bed. Now that I have them bedside, how do I tell if I already took some?

I awake in pain, roll over, take a pain pill, and go back to sleep. I awake later, in pain, roll over, take another pain pill, and go back to sleep. I awake again, in pain… You see my problem? Pretty soon I’m not going to be waking up in pain, if I even wake up at all.

I found that out last night, but I went the opposite way. I didn’t take a pain pill because I might already have taken one and didn’t remember. I’m very big on survival instincts, if you haven’t been able to tell by now. So, I might have caused, or at least contributed to, my pain issues overnight.

So, I’ve had to dig out the pillboxes and I’ll have to figure out a system to stock the two different pain meds so that a sleep-befuddled mind like mine can understand what’s going on in the middle of the night.

I have short term and long acting meds. The long term only needs to be taken twice a day, 12 hours apart. The short term needs to be taken every 4 to 6 hours, even though I no longer have the acetaminophen to worry about. The problem exists that I can stretch things out to six hours when I am feeling good, and that throws any schedule off.

For a while, I was writing the times I took my meds down on my mirror in dry erasable marker just to try and keep track. But I’m not always near my mirror to keep track of what was going on. Then I switched to my iPAQ. Better, but still not satisfying enough for me.

But I have my pill box set up for tomorrow; I’ll see how it works.

Sorry this is so late, but I wanted a hot bath so I’ve been indulging. It does help a bit. And I just took my last pain meds for tonight. Hopefully, I’ll sleep better.

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!

What To Say, What To Say?

I think the hardest part of writing this blog is the title. I mean I have 225 posts here. How many titles do you think you can come up with within the scope of the blog?

Anyway, yesterday I slept in until 10 or 11 AM. And trying to deal with the fever and sweats I pretty much stayed in bed all day. Awake! So I was very surprised when I didn’t fall asleep until after 5AM MONDAY MORNING!!!

I don’t know what went on there unless it was the caffeine in the Starbucks Mud Pie ice cream and the Arizona Green Tea. But I didn’t have that much! I swear!

So today I was up before 10AM, called my doctor’s office to follow up on the ER visit, and ended up going in for a visit.

Apparently there is no infection, although the smell of my flatulence and feces tells me that I just may have an intestinal infection. Hey, every bit of information helps to deal with this stuff! The doc says that the fevers/sweats are from the liver and that I do have a tumor in the left hip. So there!

So, I got a prescription renewed for more pain meds without the nasty acetaminophen, so I don’t have to worry about killing my liver. :-) It’s so-o-o funny. The prescriptions are good for only 3 days; they can only prescribe 30 days at a time; along with a long list of what can’t be done. Isn’t it nice to know that my government doesn’t want me to feel too good while I suffer through this? I sometimes think that governments feeds off the pain and suffering so they do as much as possible to see that those conditions occur. I may freak you out later with some ideas about this issue that I've picked up that have me wondering..... The problem is it make too much sense.

I didn’t hear from H. Lee Moffitt today, so I’ll give them a call tomorrow to see if we can’t schedule something a little earlier!

I did get a nap earlier tonight ‘cause I was so-o-o tired but I only wanted to sleep a little while. Fortunately, I got a phone call that woke me up, otherwise I’d probably still be sleeping and would wake up around 2AM. Otherwise, I didn’t have any Starbuck’s ice cream tonight!

Kunolunkwa, y te quiero!